Contains sexual abuse - I don't know what happened. *Possible trigger in all aspects*

DisenchantedxRomance · 13-07-2012, 07:52 PM

I recently started to have slivers of memories come back. Sometimes, when my husband and I are intimate, I feel weird, like he reminds me of my father, and then I get this feeling and have to stop. I love my husband, and he very much has my attraction, but I don't know what could have happened or even what did. I just want to know, just so I can deal with it, process it and move on. I have been hyper sexual for a long time, so I think that is a warning sign. My father was very physically, verbally and now he has turned emotionally abusive. My husband has also been verbally abusive in the past, and we've also had physical fights, which have not happened again, and never will. I just wanna know what happened, and I need advice and support.

butterflies2011 · 13-07-2012, 09:42 PM

First off thank you for the advice on my thread, and second it sounds like something may have happened to you that you dissociated from. I got the creepy crawlies and when I was intimate with anyone it was always a trigger to my past abuse, especially sexual. You read on my thread what happened to me, and it sounds like it happened to you too. IDK now though. I tried all the different kinds of therapy there was out there and then I started EMDR, that is the therapy that gets the trauma that is stored in your brain but has no language so it doesn't know how to communicate with the rest of the brain other than ie: the creepies. Don't know if you've heard of it. When I first started it was kind of weird. Hugs your way and I hope you feel better soon. I'm still trying to improve on the intimate part of my life and it seems better than before. After the abuse stopped I was in control of my intimate life I was hyper active too because finally I had the control to do what I wanted when I wanted. So I can relate. That's all I can think of for now but hang in there :)

crazykat · 26-07-2012, 03:43 AM

It is actually quite common to get body memories when having sex as it can trigger it off because it is something that is associated with the abuse that happened to you. It is important to remember though that this doesn't make you a bad person. Have you ever received any counselling for the abuse you went through? As that may help you be able to process things and be able to move on. Also tell your husband about what is happening for you so he can be gentle with you and support you through it. Take care
Kat xxx