Decisions, decisions

Nocebo · 06-07-2012, 09:45 PM

I dont come here often. Lots of reasons. I do loiter a bit sometimes but I am easily triggered :(

Thing is. I have an issue. I dont know what to do. Might seem quite everyday and trivial but its tearing me apart.

I am married with children. There is somebody else.

I have told my hubby. I think he may be bribing me & using the kids as bait,

This isnt good. How do I figure out what is happening?

I understnad completely that hubby is hurt. Other person lives quite a distance away & although we have met in person it has been a number of years.

Do i tell huby the truth? That being here is pointless & I am not happy?

I cant figure out what is real. What isnt.

I dont need to explain much of the rest. SH support sites should say it all.

StarBright · 19-07-2012, 11:45 PM

Hello. I'm not sure if you're still struggling with this, but I would advise that you tell your husband the truth. I think the truth helps a lot in these situations.

Nocebo · 20-07-2012, 10:28 PM

How strange. Yes I am...I have told my husband and I have been given a couple of ultimatums. You can imagine. I know what I want. I want the someone else, but I dont want to hurt anyone and its obviously going to happen. So many things are out of my hands and I want it all IN my hands!!!!!! :(

StarBright · 20-07-2012, 10:35 PM

I think all you can do is do the best with what is in your hands at the moment. I'm sure you don't want to hurt your husband, but if you're being open and honest about what you truly want, then you're doing what's in his best interest, even if it's hurtful for him to hear right now.

That's just my opinion. :) I hope you feel better soon.

88shelz · 20-07-2012, 11:22 PM

Take the someone else out of the picture...
Would you still be willing to get up and leave your husband?
Can you have a break from hubby and kids and the someone else to figure out who you really want to be with ?

88shelz · 20-07-2012, 11:26 PM

Marriage problems can be fixed and I honestly think you should give it a try (unless there has been abuse then I'd leave irrespective) find where the Robles started and try fix them. Make life and marriage good. This other person... Will they still have you feeling happy in 10 yrs time... Even if you end up having your kids turn their backs on you for the situation?

I have so much to day but don't want to drone on and on.

Basically bottom line is think everything through and be certain. Your choices and the consequences are what you can live with and be happy with. X