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28-06-2012, 04:22 PM
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#1
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Elliott
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Hereford
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4 months
4 months i've been pretending everything is fine i have to mum has a bad back have to be... normal worry free me. If I'm not like everyone then no one can look after my sisters its a battle, voices... cravings too much to loose if i show... weakness sisters will be taken dunno if its a good thing perhaps safer for everyone craveings sharp objects more worryingly fire not candles metal tins and nitro in my bedroom pretty white flames matches blood
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28-06-2012, 05:05 PM
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#2
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Pathetic.
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I'm sorry you are feeling so low right now.
I'm having a hard time understanding your trail of thought though, sorry, are you looking after your sisters ATM, due to your mums bad back? When you say about your sisters being taken, what do you mean? Social services?
Are the voices telling you to do those things with the fire or to hurt yourself? Or are your thoughts very destructive right now?
Perhaps you can use this space to explore a way to cope with what is going on for you right now? Let this be a safe place.
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~Beauty without intellence, is a materpiece painted on a napkin.~
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28-06-2012, 05:24 PM
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#3
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Maybe it's too late to live and feel safe
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Scotland
I am currently: 
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I'm sorry you're having such a tough time right now. Do you have a friend or a therapist you could talk to? It must be scary having your mum sick and having to take care of your sisters, but it's very important that you keep yourself safe. If you are having very destructive thoughts, maybe write them down in a journal, or create a personal distractions list for when you get triggered?
Hope things improve, take care of yourself. PM me if you want to talk.
Katie x
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Ask me mistakes I have made
Ask me whether what I have done is my life
Others have come, in their slow way -
And some have come to help, or to hurt -
Ask me what difference
Their strongest love or hate has made.
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29-06-2012, 04:13 PM
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#4
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Elliott
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Hereford
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difficult stupid even.. voices hurt my head screaming clawing there way out taken some pills sorta comfy numb feels good slow even yet dangerous must stay "normal" to be an adult enough to look after sisters mum has a prolapsed disk in her spine that is pressing on nerves so she cant feel her legs too well and i have an abnormal amount of hate towards them all even had to stop myself hitting them, voices in my head, in my wall quite evil things they tell me to do perhaps id be safer in a secure environment away from them all arrggg i dont know any more stupid brain wont work thank whoever it was who invented predictive text!
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30-06-2012, 02:48 PM
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#5
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Chat Mod
Join Date: Aug 2009
I am currently: 
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Hey,
I wondered whether you'd spoken to anyone, such as your mum about what's going on right now, or the voices?
I'm sorry to hear that your mum has hurt her back; that sounds quite serious.
How are you doing today?
Take care.
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It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do. We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us. We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
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