How to deal with social anxiety

Cazzie · 24-06-2012, 08:34 PM

I've always been a shy person but during the later years of high school it got much worse. It probably didn't help that my dad was dying of cancer and did eventually die.
Anyway I just generally hate being put in social situations. Hell even waiting for responses from this is making me nervous because I know people are going to be reading and judging and that's just over the internet :'(. I only really feel comfortable around close family and friends. I dread going to the shops and going to job interviews is just an awful experience. I'll end up worrying about it all week and when I eventually do go my hearts is always waiting, I feel sick and I can't for the life of me look anyone in the eye. I've had 2 jobs before, one was for only 2 shifts because the owner said I wasn't suited for the role and the other one was only an Xmas job. I always felt like harming myself because I would much rather deal with the physical pain than the anxiety. I had to drop out of uni because it was just too overwhelming and I skipped too many classes because of anxiety.
I'm just sick of feeling like this all the time. I can't hold down a job because, well for starters just asking people if they are hiring is the worst thing for me to deal with and like I've said I can't stand being in public/social situation. I want to be able to talk to mum but she just says everyone feels like that and you should just suck it up and talk to people and look for jobs etc...(not those exact words but it's what she means)

I just want to get one with my life and make some real progress but at the moment I can't because I can't deal with people.

Any help would be nice and sorry for ranting

<------This is just too cute not to post and kind of has no reference to any of my feelings atm ^_^

Also sorry if I haven't posted in the right place but I'm not really used to the forums here.

88shelz · 24-06-2012, 10:37 PM

To deal with it I plan my day so I know what I'm doing best I can and how an when it will be done. I try and do something or take something makes me feel safer. Eg wearing a cardigan that I can hide my hands in and clench fists around a piece of rubber or putting on an outfit that makes me feel more confident.
Planning is my main help

xMakeSomeNoisex · 25-06-2012, 02:31 AM

I know what you mean I am like that as well. I worry all the time about what I say on here and through texts, it is like a constant worry and I keep going over it in my head and worrying about what others will say (it is enough to drive you nuts). I haven't been able to get a job because of my anxiety, it can end up ruining your life in a lot of ways.

Have you talked to a therapist about it? If not than that may be a good option (and if it is really severe than they may put you on medication). Other than talking to someone about it I don't really have much advice since I myself don't know how to handle it.

Dessie11 · 25-06-2012, 01:22 PM

I completely understand how you feel as well. I can't get my lisence i am way too scared to go through with the final test. I avoid doing many things because I'm scared my anxiety will just hit at any time. It's really hard but I found that forcing myself to do things helped me to be a little more confident no matter how nervous I was. It's the anticipation of things that get to me. I would force myself to go to interviews, and I finally found a job I am comfortable with and I won't be leaving it because it is too stressful to lok for another, I dont really need to anyway. Try and force yourself no matter how hard it is. You feel so happy with yourself afterwards. Maybe start with small things, like hanging out with differen't people who you aren't that comfortable with. If you can't do it, then that's not a problem. I think taking small risks and steps will help you.

PassedExpectations · 26-06-2012, 12:33 AM

you need to face the anxiety. do things that make you anxious. do them many times. eventually your body and mind will stop reacting. at which point you can do something a little harder. your comfort zone will grow.

it also sounds like your thought patterns may be intensifying and creating extra anxiety. when i was doing intense treatment, they made me learn a whole host of cognitive distortions, which are thinking patterns that seem logical, but really aren't, and that lead to one feeling badly. this is a list with descriptions of them. http://psychcentral.com/lib/2009/15-...e-distortions/ it might be good for you to read and see if you can start identifying some in your own thinking, and then try to change them. you can train your brain to think differently, and it really can releive anxiety