Contains Abuse - Scars from abuse... Cosmetic surgery ? Please help

[deviantobsession]

Hi,
I really am not sure if i post this here or not... but i could just use some advice.
I was sexually abused by someone nearly 2 years ago. But it left some horrific scaring in my vaginal area.
I am in agony when i have sex and it has never really healed. I cannot stand to have sex because of the pain and I hate how i look down there so intercourse has become something i find nerve racking. and even when i manage to, the pain reminds me of what happened to me.

So, for the past year i have been looking into cosmetic surgery and im really concered/nervous about approaching my doctor in regards to it. Im really nervous in general to be honest.
Im usually against plastic surgery, well not against, but i dont agree with changing yourself a-such for the benefit of others... but, i cant stand this i feel so sick in regards to it and i honestly dont know if i can get over what happened to me and look the way i do down bellow.

Please any advice i could really use it.

sorry x
H x

[whirlpools]

I'm sorry that this has been your experience. It's even more unfair and unjust when abuse leaves such an impact that it affects relationships in the future. I'm really glad you're considering getting some surgery to improve the way you feel about your appearance but also to helps you hopefully be able to enjoy your intimate relationships and not have to fear the pain.

Can you say what your anxieties are about seeing your GP?

[deviantobsession]

Hi, thank you for replying,
She has a really negative view on mental health and things and the person who abused me is still very much in my life. his my boyfriend of nearly 3 years but i know im stupid for being with him... but i cant live with these scars anymore and i cant live like this.
I just cant cope being reminded what he has done to me and if i tell my GP she is going to want to do something about it ... im petrified im breaking down more and more each day the past month and he wont be there for me and i cant talk to anyone else about it x