I'm alright. Right? *triggering*

[ieatcats848]

I'm happy, successful. I have a steady full-time job, going to school, great boyfriend, amazing friends. My social life is full and active. I try to take care of myself. I run, I eat fairly well. I'm off the medicines and into self-healing (Reiki and the like). I'm doing well. I'm doing REALLY WELL. Everyone is so ****ing proud of me.

I could vomit at the thought of myself. I am 51 days cut free and I would love nothing more than to hop on over to where I keep my blades (I sleep next to them) and remember old times. I have a hundred reasons to not cut and one for it, and that one reason is the only thing I can focus on right now. It's killing my positive efforts. What is that nagging voice I hear? "I deserve it." I'm inherently bad so I need to take my punishment.

What now? It's louder every day but I don't want to ruin everything I'm working hard for. (As we all now, self-harm is the relationship killer) Is this one of the tests we're faced when we try to stop? Is this my time to put up or shut up?

[CaiteeBug]

Reiki is wonderful!! How many Attunements have you mastered so far? Love and Light!

[crazykat]

How do you feel about getting rid of the blades? That way the temptation isn't there. Try and tell yourself how far you have come, you don't want to throw this all away. I don't believe you are bad and need punishment either, what makes you feel like you do? Keep fighting hun