Engagement in Jeopardy? Please give your opinion

[OXO]

Thanks for viewing & hopefully registering an opinion asI have nobody else I can turn to for advice. I also am trying to keep this post as gender neutral as possible.

As the Title/Subject indicates, I’m engaged but we live agood 3 ½ hour drive apart and while it’s problematic for ‘Jessie’ to find timeto travel for visiting, ‘Jamie’ is able to travel at any time.

Recent emails;
7 May 201212:05:01 … Iam off today to sleep, tomorrow to catch up and clean the house and then backfor more nights. … (Jessie)
7 May 201216:56:59 …what the heck am I'm doing here if you're off there? ~ !@#$%^&**I'll just slip down sometime regardless of what shift you might be on. (Jamie)
8 May 201211:48:35 Iwould like to know when you are planning on visiting so we can discuss if itworks for both of us. … (Jessie)
8 May 2012 18:50:54 …think of the times we’ve discussed communication and how much I value and loveto hear your voice. Further contemplate on what I am to think when rather thanphoning, you resort to mainly just email. I value any time I canhave you ~ the less I hear you, the more I want to see you ~ if you don’t feelthe same then, well . . . thoughts run amok and are now compounded by your‘discussion before visitation’ thing. … (Jamie)

So gracious readers of the above extracts, please comment insupport or critique of either;
a) Jessie is correct to expect notice & discussionbefore any visits?
or
b) Jamie is correct to consider that visiting terms are a redflag?

[mat]

Uh its kinda vague.... 3 half hours is a long drive.. could just be that whoever doesn't drive doesn't want whoever that does drive to not drive that if you know.. their busy or what not. Idk. Just talk?

Id love if a woman just surprised me, but I don't think I could pull that type of woman.

Don't trip.

[Scrabble.]

To me, it seems like "jessie" is not bothered in the slightest weather "jamie" visits or not. Infact "Jessie" seems to doing everything they can to make sure that "Jamie" only comes on her say so.

x

[Amaranth]

I'm leaning in Jamie's favour.
I don't think Jessie is being completely unreasonable to want to know when Jamie will be there, but she really should realise that Jamie is happy to travel to see her whenever she's off so she should be appreciative of that, instead of kind of obstructive.
It does seem that Jessie wants things all on her terms, and I can see why Jamie would be annoyed with that.

Ps. I apologise if I got the genders wrong - as both Jessie and Jamie could be either a boy or girls name I wasn't sure!

[squirrelspit]

hmm.. it makes sense to plan ahead as Jamie could turn us whilst Jessie is out shopping or out with friends or whatever, however, the email trail does kind of look like Jessie has something to hide from Jamie as they seem so unenthused by even the thought of being suprised with a visit.

Perhaps a good idea would be if Jessie and Jamie both know their work scedules a week or so in advance, they could let each other know when the other is off and what day off plans they have, therefore kind of leaving any 'blank' days free to see each other, whether planned or spontanious?