I have PMDD and ADHD, so not BPD, and the PMDD affects me more in a depressed/lowered energy way rather than anger (although I can get irritable). For me, realizing it's due to the PMDD helps ALOT. Also, I have found that the symptoms lessen (for me are starting to disappear), if I exercise. Thing is, when that time comes around, you don't want to exercise or do anything with PMDD. But I've found that if I make myself do it anyway, it helps a trememdous amount. Also knowing that it will be over in a week or two helps if the symptoms do get bad. I also have found that it's far more triggered if that time of the month (for me its a week or two before and up to a day or two during) if it also coincides with stress. So if you can avoid damaging and stressful situations (like toxic relationships or getting help with school/work stress), that helps when your symptoms come around.
Also, I'm on birth control, which is supposed to help (although I was not put on it for that reason so it's hard to assess how well it works). That might be an option if you're not planning on having children right now. I also find eating healthy, including foods that have a lot of energy, in addition to the exercise makes it better. As does getting enough sleep. So yeah, I know how difficult PMDD can make things, especially coupled with another disorder (my ADHD gets much worse if my PMDD symptoms get bad). But yeah, I'd consider lifestyle changes if you haven't already and then talk to your doctor about medication if those don't work. I'd also tell your husband what's going on when it happens. I know me telling my boyfriend that its why I'm more tired, more lethargic, more depressed, more irritable, or having migraines helps him be more supportive and less worried since he knows the cause.
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