Need Advice

[michael james]

Hi
I guess veterans corner is the best place for this thread, as i am a serious veteran at self harm. I have been hurting myself on and off for 30 years, i have lots and lots of scars. Started when i was 14, not sure why, small cuts in those days. As the years past the self harm became far more dark, serious, had an uncontrollable need for blood. Then when other Traumatic events happened to me self harm became my defence against the world.
When everything seemed hopeless and i felt utter and complete despair i always had the cutting.
Later in life i got and felt great shame from my scars, so ended up in various units and made to take strong medication, and i saw many doctors.
So in the last few years i have really tried to stop hurting myself, but my father died last year in my arms covered in blood. This put me back on the path of self punishment. I need to stop this, need help, need advice.

[pea soup]

I'm not sure what to say, but I'll try.

I, also am a long time self harmer but have managed to get control, basically for my son.

You say your dad died in your arms covered in blood. I'm sure this was a huge trigger for you.

Try to think of it this way. your dad died(mine did also), your dad would be so happy now to see that you can conquer this. everytime you think of harming, think of him. it must have been so hard to have him die in your arms....but maybe that was your "wake up call".

that's all I've got.

much love.
xxxxxxxxx

[happiness...its all a lie]

hey
im not sure what to say really. Could you go to your gp? and ask for help or look for support groups in your area. I found a way to help me was that i had 1 very close friend and everytime i got the urge i called her or went to hers as she lived round the corner - do u have anyone close?

Also as pea says think of your dad and how proud he'd be of you beating this. I cant imagine how much it triggered you but you can do this.

Good luck, you can do anything you want i know you can :) xx

[michael james]

Thank You very much for your support, in these dark days it helps.
I will try very hard not to punish and harm myself, not sure i can, but i will try.

Thank you Again
From Michael

[insidemyhead]

Hello Michael, I am so sorry you are going through this, your pain sounds raw, have you tried any therapy along side medication or on its own? Do you know what made you start self harming in the beginning? I understand you are trying hard and I am glad you are reaching out for support, we are here, say whatever you need. Take care of yourself or try your best.