It's me again

[Aardbei]

I'm so sorry for spamming this board so much recently. Just struggling quite a bit at the moment and I don't really have anyone I can talk to openly about how I'm feeling.

If you've been following my previous threads you'll know I got a job in January as a support worker for people with learning difficulties. It's been difficult from the beginning due to long hours, lack of organisation on the part of the company, training hasn't been given that should have been, I had a few scrapes in company cars, etc etc etc. I'm getting to the point now where I dread going in to work, I resent being there, I'm very unhappy while I'm there, and to be honest I just want to run away in the opposite direction. I'm considering handing in my notice but I'm torn and I wanted to ask your opinion.

One part of me says I'm completely within my rights to leave, it's not what I was expecting, I haven't been given the correct training, the hours are ridiculous and the pay is not worth the amount of work I do, too much has been expected of me at once, it's not fair on the people I'm supporting if I don't want to be there, it's not really relevant to what I eventually want to do, I don't have the time or energy to look for something more relevant, if I left I could volunteer and have more time for myself which I desperately need at the moment... And of course, I hate it and it's making me incredibly unhappy.

The other part of me is saying that a job is a job, they're not meant to be enjoyable especially when you're at my age and level, they're hard to come by at the moment and I'm being overdramatic and ridiculous, I need the money as I want to move out soon, the company is understaffed and I'll be letting everybody down, I'm pathetic as I'm already feeling this way after just three months... I also feel incredibly anxious when I think about even telling my team leader I want to leave. What if she gets angry? I'm so scared.

I'm just torn. I really don't think I can keep this up, I'm struggling so much under the pressure and the thought of having to work another month (which is the notice period) fills me with dread, but the guilt I would feel if I left also seems unbearable and the process of leaving makes me very anxious. So. Any advice would be much appreciated.

Sorry again for spamming so much, guess I'm having a particularly whiny year!

[Mandimoo]

Resigning can affect you getting benefits as a fyi in case that's something you need to think about

[Aardbei]

Thanks Mandy, I am aware of that, but I live with my mum at the moment so that's not as much of an issue.

[Mandimoo]

Ok I just know the job centre told my ex to resign then tried to withhold nenefits for 8 weeks as a penalty for leaving a job (which wasn't suitable) and we had to threaten to take them to court to get it sorted.

[Aardbei]

I hate the job centre :( They make everything so difficult!

In case you were wondering, I have decided to hand in my notice. I'm telling my team leader tomorrow. Very anxious about it... :(

[Sefka]

Good luck with it all. Are you going to try and find similar work with another organisation? From your posts here it sounds like the place you're at isn't the greatest place to work and hopefully you'll be better off without all the stress n anxiety.
All the best xx

[Aardbei]

I'm going to try and find work more relevant to my degree, so more mental-health related and preferably not as a support worker again.

Thank you. I'm terrified. I have no idea what I'm going to say.

[Aardbei]

Just letting you all know I handed in my notice yesterday. My team leader was gutted because she's short staffed as it is and will have a bit of a struggle covering the lady I work with most days of the week. I feel guilty but I know it's the right thing to do. I'm still on probation so I only need to give one week's notice but I agreed to work for another 2 weeks to give her more time to work stuff out. My last working day will be 25th April... counting down the days until then! I have one 24 hour shift and one 26.5 hour shift next week and some 10 hour shifts in between. Just got to make it through. Thank you guys for your replies.