I don't know anymore?

[ellb26]

Hey, I don't really know why I am posting this. I guess I just needed to rant, or hopefully some advice :)

Recently I went to my college for support to do with self harm, which was getting progressively worse. They took me to the doctors who diagnosed me with anxiety and depression. But after a screening test, the earliest I can get any kind of therapy is at least 3 months. This isn't particularly helpful to me because things at home are worst in the summer and with my final a-level exams coming up, I need some support like now. :(

I went back to the college a couple of weeks ago and explained that I needed further support, as my thoughts are getting suicidal. I said that I would never do it, but everything just feel like it's getting worse and since I have attempted suicide in the past, I don't want to return to that place. But they basically said they were there if I needed to talk, but other than that there is nothing they can do. I don't want to keep returning to the college and worrying them with the same problems. But I don't feel like I can hang on much longer and now I don't know what to do. I am so scared I'll do some serious damage.

Has anyone else ever been in the situation? If so how did you cope?

[PassedExpectations]

did the rant help?

i haven't been in that situation, so i don't have any personal experiences to share...

perhaps you could look around and see if there are any non-profits or charities that offer counseling or support. i originally got help from a community counseling program (it was short lasted, as my parents found out and quickly took me to the doctors they wanted me to see, but i think it was fairly good).

what is particularly difficult about being at home over the summer?

maybe the exams would seem less intimidating if you made a study group with a couple other people taking them...

[ellb26]

I don't even know why I had that rant, I was just kind of frustrated at the situation.

I have contacted many support things and they can offer it, but if I go there, it would push me back on the therapy waiting list by several more months. So they advised that I just wait for therapy.

I study with my friends when I am in college :) I am lucky to have such amazing friends.

At home, things just get difficult, it gets to a point where everyone in the house gets suicidal. I am not exaggerating neither. Things suck at home.

People keep saying to me, you've coped with this for 5 years, so you can cope for several more months. But that's my point, I haven't coped with it fine at all, I asked for help because I am not coping anymore. But no one seems to see that.

Sorry I know I have just had another rant, but I'm just scared by the entire situation.
Thanks for the reply:)

[PassedExpectations]

would it be possible to stay with friends? at least make sure that you're getting out of the house everyday and getting some time to do what you want and to unwind