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Contains illicit drugs - Benzo cravings...job...stuff
I really didn't know that these little shiny demons had so much control over me - I've never been physically dependent on them - but I'm thinking that this recent bout of crippling depression has to do with them, and my not using them for the past little while. I've been addicted to opiates for the past few years, and sorta hopped onto valium and klonopin because of them. I was working this completely awful, soul sucking job for a while, and it took me being blitzed out just to get through my shifts. For the past few weeks I've been in the deepest pit because my guy has completely run out. I was to the point of taking 12 mg of kpin (equivalent to 70-100 mg of valium a day) and feeling NOTHING. The guy I get them from should have em again soon, so it's craving time. I know what I need to do - "just don't do it" - but god, I can't handle these overwhelming feelings.
This is unimaginable, I remember being at this stage in my relationship with dope, and I thought that I would know better in the future.
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