Is throwing out blades an essential part of recovery?
Basically as the title says.
A lot of people have said "I have thrown out my blades/tools" when they are trying to give up SI. But I have never done that but yet I have manageged 9 months free.
Is it an essential part or is it just me? What do other people think?
Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson "I hear those voices that will not be drowned" Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
Actually, I've kept one of my tools with me. I always carry it around, and for some reason, it's actually helped in my recovery. I guess it's sort of a security blanket, knowing that if I wanted to cut, I could. And by some backwards logic, sometimes just knowing that I could cut is enough to keep me from harming myself.
I probably make no sense. >.<
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I find if I don't have any blades or clean blades I won't cut, i'll do something else instead of Shing, but if I have blades in the house I will cut...so yeah I think throwing them out is a good idea.
I kind of think eventually you should. Because once your recovered you dont need them anyway, and long term they might not help. But short term i only think its necessary for some people. I carried a blade around for months no problem at one point and it made me feel better to have it, but then at other times if i have it i use it no matter what. So its all what suites you
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I can understand where you're coming from. At the moment I'm really adamant on giving up, but at the same time I know that throwing out my blades would sort of send me round the loop a bit. You should take your recovery in baby steps - don't rush yourself into something you're not ready to do. Although 9 months is awesome :)
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I don't think it is; I think that having tools and choosing not to use them is just as powerful a decision. I'm also aware that the scope to acquire more or use something else as an alternative is always there, so in some ways it's a less permanent sign than it may seem.
But then, I've never been able to attach much significance to objects.
Last edited by Eska : 23-03-2012 at 10:49 PM.
Reason: wording
I think it's really individual and should be taken on a person by person basis. For me it's much easier to not do it if I don't have anything to do it with and I'm much less likely to relapse.
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I have never, I think, thrown any blades out. I am nearly a year free, I think, so I guess it depends on the person.
My ex threw all their blades out and that helped them but I have never seen the need to. If I ever wanted to cut again, I would just buy new blades anyway or find something else so theres not really any need to throw them out. They are also memories of a huge part of my life and I don't seem to be able to get rid of memories. I will probably stick them all in my die-ary at some point but haven't got round to it yet.
The world is just illusion always trying to change me.
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I felt emotions of gentleness and pleasure, that had long appeared dead, divide within me. - Frankenstein.
When I've tried to quit in the past I've thrown my blades away or given them to someone else, but all it's done is make me freak out and buy sharper blades or OD/burn/anything else, that's usually worse than what I would have done having had them.
I can see why it would be important and symbolic for some people, but I don't think it's a crucial part of recovery.
To be honest, I don't think I'll ever throw all of my blades or anything away. I likke the comfort of knowing that I can SI, even if I reach a stage that I choose not to. Also, if you really want to hurt yourself not having your regular tools isn't going to stop you.
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Make us all feel wonderful. We'll never forget."
I can't get rid of my blades, it triggers me too much. i was august 09-dec 10 pretty much completely clean, with my blades, next to where i SH. i find getting rid of blades makes me panic, & I end up getting more & 'need' to 'test them out' to make sure they 'work' properly. that's probably just me though.
i have tried to get rid of my blades before asked my husband to put them in the outside bin but he didnt do it and i found them again and used them
Also i think you need to be careful when carrying blades some times the police can see them as a offensive weapon and you could be charged
i dont carry my blades around for that reason
I know for me I have to throw them because if I have them I am going to use it. The closest store to be is a 15 minute walk one way so it allows me time to think things through and to not act on impulse. I dont know if it is a necesary part of getting away from cutting. I think its a personal choice.
I think it's probably more important to get rid of tools if you're somebody who feels addicted to s/h. It's easier to overcome an addiction if you're not staring temptation in the face. I've never felt addicted myself, so my tool has been sitting for the last 2 years untouched, but still in my room.
And the illusion of love is the only promise of defence, and even that will crumble.
My thoughts behind me not throwing them out is that I am being strong, by although they are there by finding myself not using them. I dont see myself recovered and it is a long time since I managed 9 months. 10 years ago I managed to quit for 2 years, and the most I have managed since then is 6 months. I still see them as my safety net.
I have tried throwing them out before. But not long after I have always SIed, so throwing them out is the wrong option for me.
One day I do see myself throwing the blades out. But I have to be at least 1 year free (something I am trying to work towards), before I make that step.
Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson "I hear those voices that will not be drowned" Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
Hi,
Congratulations for 9 months free, that's fantastic.
I think as the thread shows it's up to each individual.
When I gave up last year I didn't throw out my blades immediately, I wanted them as a safety net and I knew if I did I would just go get new ones. I eventually threw them out after about 6 months, but that was when I knew I was ready to and didn't want them as a constant reminder anymore.
I have since slipped but not bought blades and have stopped again, a one off slip that I know would have been worse if I still had my blades.
Anyway, do what is right for you.
God bless
Liz
I don't know. I'm around three/four months free of SH if you don't count two relapses and I haven't thrown out my blades. I have got rid of some because they weren't sterile but I still have the old things that I used to cut myself. I would imagine that, as I am not wholly ready to give up SH yet, I don't feel comfortable throwing them out. I guess that you should throw them out when you're ready and not before, unless you feel unsafe with them there.
Im supposed to be handing over my blades to my husband. I have to do it before our therapy session tomorrow. It fills me with fear which is why ive left it til the last minute. I may do it, but keep a couple, but then id be lying to both my husband and therapist and thats not right. Its put me in a situation im not comfy with. Im not ready but feel i have no choice, and know i will probably buy some more...which again is wrong.
I have been free for almost a year and whenever I think about throwing them out I freak, I get so close to doing it and then I just break down. It makes me feel Stronger when I know they are there and I can use them but I refuse to. I feel more powerful with them around me, but for some people it might be easier. See what works best for u, I think ur recovery is yours so I Should be personalized to your liking and well being :)
Emma
