Have I made the biggest mistake of my life by telling him I am gay??
I know he has to process it but he thinks I'm going to hell and I'm afraid he is distancing himself because of that. I miss talking to him so much. I don't know what's going on in his life anymore. I want our relationship back but what if I've ruined it?
I want to burn but I'm not going to. It's storming too so I'm staying awake but I'm so tired.
I don't know how long I can go with him not talking to me. I feel like such a failure now.
Keith is my 14 year old son who doesnt live with me. he's been gone for 10 years due to my illness. i only see him twice a year but we have always stayed connected and close. but now i have no contact. i just sit here and cry because i miss him so much. i miss him more than ever because he wont even talk on the phone.
Rach come on you know there's likely to be other stuff affecting this situation as well, plus what 14yr old boy really wants to talk sexuality with his mother! Talk about embsrrssing! He feeling conflicted his lpyalty towards you.... versus his loyalty to your aunt who's taught him that being gay is wrong, he may not agree with that but his life is going to be awkward if he tells anyone that. Maybe he feels your aunt expects him to not have contact with a sinner now that he knows. It's easter soon send him a card and ask him to call you, love you rach x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
I don't know much about your situation, only really what this thread says, but I am sorry that you're hurting. 14 is a difficult age, he probably is feeling conflicted, but I'm sure if you let him know you love him and you're there when he's ready to talk, you can both get back on track. The card is a lovely idea.
I hope you're doing as okay as you can at the moment. Please take care of yourself. xx
it's late in the night and this is when it gets worse. but sleeping is scary too.
im having nightmares of Keith telling me he doesnt ever want to see or speak or see me again. I wake up with tears on my face so i guess im crying in my sleep. scary. then it takes me forever to sleep again.
my mind is so ****ed up lately. i should have been prepared for this but i really dont think anyone can be prepared for something like this. Im just a mother who loves her son. and the pain is unbearable. i hope you all understand. nothing will help the pain so i will learn to live with it.
Kelly wont get out of bed and i need someone....trying to play games on FB but doesnt help.I dont know what to do except feel the feelings. thats what the therapists tell me...but its so hard.
*hugs* I'm sorry this is happening. The card is a great idea. It may take him time but I'd keep trying to communicate with him, even if it's cards or maybe a letter. Remind him that you are still who you were before you said anything, he just knows a little more about you now (I hope that sounds ok)....Take care of yourself
Big Sister:Squiggles Little Sister: PaintItBlack Cousins: dereksarah, Hollz
That's never gonna happen rach he's getting older, probably thinking things through a bit more, maybe your sexuality is not the issue here, could he be jealous of kaleb? Could something be happening at your aunts /school that you don't know about? Maybe he's busy with schoolwork or extra curricula activities and you just keep missing each other. Maybe he just misses you and finds it hard to talk to you.
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
I really dont know the reason behind it but Matthew (cousin he lives with) told me that he felt awkward talking to me and didnt want to....so I'm giving him his time and space and hoping it helps.
Start it with some general chit chat. Some questions about his plans for summer or something? Maybe (if its possible, ask if he wants to do something together?)
Then, tell him how you feel. Explain to him your feelings. And tell him that its no hereditary, im sure he knows that, but just put it out there. Tell him you love him no matter what. And tell him that he dosnt have to tell anyone and he dosnt have to talk about it with you, but that, if he wants to tell people or he wants to talk about it with you, you are totally fine with it, but that if he wants to not mention it again then that is fine too. But that no matter what, you still love him and really want him to be a part of your life.
Then give him some space. If he is feeling akward about things, he can ignore the situation and perhaps just reply to the questions at the start of the letter. That way it kinda gives him an easy way to talk to you again, without mentioning it. But he also has the option to ask questions if he needs to.
Remember most Rach, is a 14 year old boy, he is at that stage where he is neither an adult nor a child. He is still developing his thoughts on the world and how he fits in. He will accept you, but he has to do it in his own time. You are still the person you always have been and he will see that in time. And remember, that even if he wants space, it dosnt have to be forever and his views will change as he expiernces new things.
to top it off, last night after I showered, I realized the emerald stone from the ring he got me years ago had fallen out :(
I have cried and cried and we have looked everywhere. I guess it went down the drain. it was a cheap little ring that he bought me for christmas when they had a christmas shop at school for children to buy presents for their parents. I always wear it in the shower..never hurt it before.
About the ring - most showers have a little filter catch thing in them, usually used for hair and so on. Could you check if the stone is in that? It tends to be part of the drainage/pipe system - can't think of the right name at the moment, but it is possible.
Roiben
If the Human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we wouldn't.
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