Basically I've suffered from depression for nearly 6 years. First saw a counsellor 2 years ago and tried Citalopram at around the same time. I took Citalopram for 2 months but felt worse, so I stopped taking them and haven't returned to that GP since. Now I'm at university and seeing a counsellor at the university's counselling service. Have also seen my new GP here and both seem really nice. My counsellor has said that I should consider trying a different antidepressant now as it sometimes takes a few different drugs to find one that is suitable. Lately, I've felt worse than I have in quite a while and am unsure what I should do. I don't believe that I can get "better", no matter how hard I try. I don't have much faith in antidepressants so feel that, if I tried them, my depression wouldn't lessen... Even if the antidepressant was right for my brain chemistry, I'm worried that there will be a nocebo effect where I won't feel any better because I don't believe that it will work. Usually I'd talk to a few of my friends about these worries but noone is really here for me anymore... The friend who encouraged me to get help in the first place won't reply to my e-mails. I feel that another friend keeps blaming me for making him feel low by talking to him about my problems - and he told me that I'm always overreacting. And the only other person I can talk to about this stuff goes through alot herself and I don't know how much she can really help me...
Basically, I'm pretty much breaking down here. I don't believe I can get better. Everyone I talk to about my problems seem to disappear. I can't even open up to more people because I don't want to risk the friendships I have in case they also decide that being my friend is too tiring.
Any advice would be appreciated right now...
Many of us spend our whole lives running from feeling with the mistaken belief that you cannot bear the pain. But you have already borne the pain. What you have not done is feel all you are beyond that pain."
there are so many different types of anti-d's. your doctor will understand why you stopped.. most gp's try citalopram first in an adult... but thre are lots more you can try. i have tried so many..even more than once and it can take a few go's before you find the right one.
you can get better =) honest.. yu just need to be patient with yourself and get support. maybe also ask your gp about cbt? or see if mind (the charity) do any support groups.. xx
Trying some new anti depressants sounds like a good plan to be fair. At the end of the day it cant do any harm. But i TOTALLY empathise. I was on some and they upped my dose so many times and it just didnt work so i chose not to take them anymore but things went a bit...odd shall we say from then XD So dont be like me :P I smell! Thinking coke bottles are torpedos is not as funny as it sounds! XD I'm never sure if there will be a fix for things too but maybe we should both try to listen to our counsellors :) As for the whole friends thing i get that too, people drop in and out of each others lives all the time i guess just give them space and whatever happens happens. Maybe have a conversation with them and ask them to tell you when they've had a bad day and cant handle other things? But yeah...if people cant put themselves in your position they can be a little intolerant sometimes...try not to let the friends thing be a worry. If they are true friends they will be there, even if they just need a little time. x
*hugs* thanks Lyria... And I'm sure you don't smell :P ... I think I definitely need to consider trying again =/
Plus, I hope muffins will rule the world one day ;) Would do a much better job than humans!
I agree with everyone! I think the best thing to do is go back to your GP, tell him how you've been feeling and how the first drugs made you feel, he/she can prescribe something different. And the most important thing to remember is to give it time to kick in before you decide it's right or wrong for you, and if it is helping make sure you don't stop taking it just because you're feeling better.
(Should it be muffins ruling the world, or should it be cupcakes?.... they're sweeter...)
I think you should definitely go back and try another anti-depressant. See a psychiatrist rather than a GP if you can, because finding the right med is really an art. If I had stopped with the first anti-d I took, I would be a lot worse off than I am now and maybe dead. I'm not saying meds are a magic cure, but for me the meds took the edge off my depression/anxiety enough for me to make real progress in therapy. It can't hurt to try again--at least you'll know you've tried everything you know to do.
I was starting to come around to this idea and even considered telling my mum that I'm not "fine now" when I see her over the next few days... But I had counselling this morning and I feel so drained and even more hopeless =/ My counsellor thinks that I need more friends and that that will make me feel better, but I don't know if other people can make me feel better permanently. And I mentioned to her that I can be fine & happy when with my friends, but as soon as they're gone I feel miserable again... To which she asked if I wanted to be around people all of the time. Didn't really know what to answer because I do like being alone sometimes and, when she worded it like that, it made me feel like I'm too needy...
And there was another thing where she told me that she lives in the same city that I come from and she knows that there are opportunities for volunteering over the summer (even though my point was that I'm not interested in what's on offer) and that they'd be "happy to have" me. I felt this sudden urge to shout at her "why the hell would they be happy to have me?" ... I don't usually think that I'm worthless and I do think that I'm generally liked by other people, but this urge scared me. Maybe I have even less of a clue who I am than I thought?
What kind of volunteering was it? Does your counsellor work there too ?
Many of us spend our whole lives running from feeling with the mistaken belief that you cannot bear the pain. But you have already borne the pain. What you have not done is feel all you are beyond that pain."
I would definately recommend trying some others. I used to take C but when I moved I got changed to Fluoxetine and it was much better than C.
"John, being brave is going where no man has gone before and with Lizzy Stark, that is NOT what you'll be doing!" - Aunt Polly.
“I told him I was going to betray you, and betray Lyra, and he believed me because I was corrupt and full of wickedness; he looked so deep I felt sure he'd see the truth. But I lied too well. I was lying with every nerve and fiber and everything I'd ever done...I wanted him to find no good in me, and he didn't. There is none.”
