Future worries

[Ampelmann]

Just wondering if you harm but don’t care if you live or die, leave it to fate, does this count as suicidal? I’m really not sure but a few years ago did this a few times when I’d convinced myself I didn’t really deserve to live but couldn’t bring myself to make certain for fear of what it would do to my family (my mum rang me once after I’d done my worst which, after I’d said everything was fine, made me decide to go to A&E).



Also what about being unemployed but having a set number of failed job applications as a limit after which to make a properly serious attempt? Luckily never reached my (revised) limit last time but I’m terrified of being unemployed again after finishing my course in September and have a certain number in mind again. I think it’s a reasonable number and should have managed to find something even if it’s awful within that number but I hate reading interviews etc about young people being lazy and worthless when they’re unemployed. If I haven’t after that number I never will and am therefore worthless to society. I don’t know whether I’d keep moving the number like I did last time (i.e. whether I’d ever go through with it). It’s a great comfort to know I have a plan and control I could enact if necessary. I’m pretty sure this last example doesn’t count 'cos there's no immediate danger?

[metal_fiddler]

Interesting question, i think if you die.... and you waited (rather then death being more of an immediate accident)then yes it is suicide because you chose to wait and not get help..... not that a person should be faulted for this as they brain still isnt coping well. But if you are seriously considering this type of ambivalent action/attempt..... please get help now dont wait untill it gets even worse. If you have already harmed yourself this badly please go to emergency as you could go into shock pretty quickly
A job isnt the be all and end all. There are so many other important aspects to life and people are only lazy if they dont try and YOU seem to be trying really hard. Sometimes applications get rejected simply because there are too many people and not enough jobs.... doent matter your education level..... BUT thiscan change on a weekly basis keep trying and dont give up or give up hope. What type of jobs are you applying for?

[Ampelmann]

Thanks for replying. It’s OK, I’m not that bad at the moment and am certainly a lot better compared to how I was when I did do the first instance a few times. I’m doing fairly well not actually doing anything SHwise but I think that’s why I’ve been thinking about what I used to do much more as I’m starting to slip back a little. Knowing that I have a future plan stops me worrying quite so much and I’m finding it easier and easier to justify with stuff I’ve been reading for my course this year.

I have 9 hours a week work until May and have to finish my dissertation by September so I’m thinking this time a year from September as a deadline or 1000 applications, whichever comes first. I stand no chance of my dream job without a PhD as there are so many people applying so that’s not going to happen. I try anything including all the things I know I’d be awful at/not stand a chance of getting through because I’m not actually qualified for but the job centre made me apply for.

Without I’m seen as a lazy, workshy post grad student who just wasted years getting into debt, knows no discipline, a drain on society. One of far too many not wanted or needed. If I can’t get a job within a year and with less experience than the older redundant people and more unemployment than the fresh graduates from next year I probably never will. It’s calmly terrifying which is why I have that plan if needed.

[HopeRises]

The job market is shite, It took me a year to get my first job and then between september 08-january 09, I applied for literally hundreds of jobs and got a few shifts here and there doing numerous things but nothing concrete to the point I could only get a job if I went and worked abroad for tuppance. I thankfully got my current job after about 5 months of properly looking, I was applying for christmas temp stuff and applied for my current job on a whim and thankfully got it so, I'd say a deadline on job hunting isn't a good idea at the moment, you might be lucky and find one pretty quickly (Hopefully) but, you might be very unlucky but if you are then remember thats the job market at the moment and that it doesn't reflect on you as a human or mean that your lazy or a drain on society. You won't just be sitting on your sofa twiddling your thumbs. It will happen, you will get a job, it just might take some time.