ok i know i already posted this in a different section but i didnt get any advice ....sorry its so l

[metal_fiddler]

i am really stressed over this to the point where ive had to use my maladaptive(if somewhat dangerous) coping methods to alleviate said stress!

Ok so my therapist who while quite a sweetheart, full of empathy and trying the best she can, is an Clinical psych intern and i know she doesnt really know how to help me or really what to do with me. I think it threw her for a loop the first time I showed her my cuts (for 11 years)and told her about my other issues, she asked me for reasons behind the cutting but didn't quite get it--- she thinks im anxious or scared or in deep emotional pain none which are accurate and she didnt get that with my bipolar depression episodes i dont need a precipitating event or reason to become suicidal(sometimes I want to kill myself and have taken action in the past and dont really know the reason-pathetic eh?)And i dont meen to come off as pretentious but i think i have a higher emotional and processing intelligence then her. Needless to say my explanations arent getting across, and she hasnt given me any new skills, its not helping
Anyway she and my physician reffered me to be assessed for this DBT program called STAT, its five day hospital weeks everyday from 10 am-2:30pm. I don`t have BPD but the the psychologist and psychiatrist think the program will definately help me and if i dont do something repercussions are going to get worst eventually and ill will be in hospital in crisis or just from exhaustion eventually.
I am quite functional(apart from) no job or relationship problems and am not currently suicidal anymore for the current and now(this will change again) problem is I would have to start in the last couple of weeks of march and i have university classes every day at the same time and work nand St john ambulance and varsity running. i have to work in the woods in the summer.
It is my 7th year of undergrad and im trying to get to med school and i need top marks and i need to finish University pronto.this programwill interfere greatly with my schedule and i would have to commit to go everyday fdorr the full time. I think it would help the psychologist got me and definately is at least as or more intelligent then me and will be able to help me. If i dont take this opportun ity and decide by march 1rst the opportunity is gone for at least probably a year
What do i do, What do i do, Gotta make a change itsw been too long but how can i do this with my schedule. If it interferes so much with my goals interms of monopolizing my schedule then what is the point in changing. Most of me would rather concentate on finishing uni so i can go to med school. I`m so stressed about this.

what do i do, what should i do and how do i keep this a secret from my family,with the amount of time it will take

[Ballerina123]

Personally I would take the time out to do the treatment course and go back to your studies later. Medicine will still be there next year.

Also you need to get this problem treat and you need to be stable before starting med school. Party because you don't want to get there and get in a crisis that lands you in hospital, meaning you need to drop out of med school.
Plus you will be no good as a qualified doctor if you are too unstable.


However all that said this is your choice. No one knows what you want more or what you need more. You know this.

[metal_fiddler]

Thanks for the reply
In my mind I am trying to figure out how I am going to do both(I wish they were closer locations to eachother) its only the last week or two of classes and if my proffs were sympathetic and let me miss a few final classes, and if i just organize my schedule more carefully to fit more in each day so i can do the homework from both . Id be super busy(which the psych says i use the hectic schedule as a coping method too not necessarily healthy but......) i think i could pull it off. im still trying to hide it from my family because problems that emerge in my family just create chaos and more problems(this has been tried to be fixed in the past and the others arent willing to aknowledge theses iossues so id rather keep the peaceful state as is now)
I am not in an unstable state at the moment or likjely to end up in one before the summer. thats why i am hard pressed to my courses, it would suck to give them up with 2-3 weeks to go especially since i have been sucessful mark and research wise this year. The psychologist does agree i am currently functioning well at a surface level
But the Psych rolled his eyes a bit at this suggestion of both and said both will be a lot of work and stress, i sometimes love stress.... he said thats part of the problem
Hence my aprehension and indescision

sorry for the leangth and the rambling..... my mind is spinning like a one winged hymenopteran

[MrsNutkin]

If it were me, I would try (not easy) and discuss things with Uni and then try and get a gap year (I know you said you need to finish uni pronto) but your health comes first.