Fed up

[MrsCoulter]

Okay so I'm sorry I haven't been here in ageeees but things had been going relatively well until now. Basically since just before Christmas my dad has been going on about rehoming my dog, and now he has decided this Saturday Harry is going to a rescue and then its my Birthday the week after and I just don't feel like celebrating at all.

Secondly I was feeling okay mentally for a bit but have dropped majorly and just feel pretty depressed a lot but that's a different story.

Basically I was told at work that my bonus was dropping from 5% to 2.5% from end of January (which was a fair compromise in my eyes as I was aware they couldn't keep paying out 5% so It hought to half it was a good proposition (since I thought they were gonna say 1% or something). Anyway that was all well and dandy but then the colleague I get on the best with is now leaving in a month for a new job and I have been thinking about how I might like to take over her job. Just as I decided it may be too much pressure for me and because at the end of the day I need the job that pays the best because soon I will need to pay £100 to vaccinate and board my two rabbits, buy them a new hutch, pay off various bills etc etc and due to my BPD I have a massive shopping addiction too so need to feed that.

Anyway I told my mum (she is one of 4 of my bosses) that I don't think I want to do the new job as I need the money that the bonus adds to my wages because this month I have made £1000 bonus on top of my £1000 wage but even if that was halved to 2.5% thats still £500 which is more than I would get with a pay rise but she just said 'Well thats fine but the bonus system has been rethought and you would get less than 2.5% because it would be shared with the new girl'. I now feel pushed into this new job and I know that is why my mum is telling me that because she is passive aggressively forcing me into this. I know she's not logically because I could just say no and take the lower bonus but I don't get why they keep promising me stuff and making everything sound great then pulling the rug beneath my feet.

I'm so fed up and just plain pissed off...

[Fry]

I guess that's just business. The illusion that something is good then it isn't is a tactic, and there's no point taking it personally. Make the decision that you think is right for you and keep your wits about you in future.

And I would advise working on stopping the shopping addiction would be better than constantly needing to find the money to 'feed it.'

[(No Username)]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fry

I guess that's just business. The illusion that something is good then it isn't is a tactic, and there's no point taking it personally. Make the decision that you think is right for you and keep your wits about you in future.

And I would advise working on stopping the shopping addiction would be better than constantly needing to find the money to 'feed it.'

Keep her wits about her about what?! And at least she's acknowledging that at the moment, she needs to make money available to herself for the shopping rather than sticking her head in the sand.

LadyGrantham: I'm so sorry about your dog, and about the job. I know how stressful worrying about money can be. I know it's hard, but you need to make the right decision for you and your health in regards to whether you apply for the new job or no, so really really take your time and make the right decision for you. **Hugs** xxx

[Fry]

Quote:

Originally Posted by needtobebeautiful

Keep her wits about her about what?! And at least she's acknowledging that at the moment, she needs to make money available to herself for the shopping rather than sticking her head in the sand.

I don't understand why you've felt it's your place to make these judgments about my reply, but I meant keep her wits about her with regard to not taking everything within her work communication at face value. It's normal to make something look appealing to an employee then the reality of it coming clear later on. So not being easily led is wise.

She made no comment about working on stopping the shopping addiction, so that as well as the rest of my reply was certainly worth mentioning. Not that I need to justify myself to you, in future might you kindly leave it to the OP to either take on or discard the replies.

You've no real right to stick your oar in and judge the way I try and help somebody, especially when the main reason I answered is because the thread had many views but no replies.

Okay?

Thank you.

[MrsCoulter]

Hi,

Thank you both for your replies. I certainly don't want people to get into a fight over the thread but I am taking on board both angles and comments.

Thank you needtobebeautiful for the comments about my dog, I am pretty cut up about it - although I am becoming more resigned to the idea. *hugs back*

[(No Username)]

xxx Hope you're okay xxx