Called my psych *may be triggering* Updated (Inpatient)

[inblack]

So I've been struggling a lot and don't know what else to do. I haven't been to work in 3 days now and am not functioning at all.

I'm getting to the point where I feel hopeless and theres no other way out. I've called my psychiatrist and her secretary said she will call me back. I'm really nervous and don't even know what to say to her.

What can she even do for me? I probably shouldn't have even called

[Laura2.0]

You could tell them that 'you are not feeling so well' as a reason why you called and then see where the conversation goes? They are probably going to ask you if you are safe etc. Maybe you could ask for an appointment?

[inblack]

Thanks, I think I will ask for an appointment.

She hasn't called back yet and I'm still really nervous. I know shes busy though.

[inblack]

Well she called and I got an appointment for tomorrow afternoon. I'm really scared shes going to want me to go into hospital because I've been very suicidal. Its like thats all I really want to avoid. I've been there before, I don't see how it could help me, its just another dead end. I don't want to be safe, I want to be better.

[talaiporia]

I hope the appointment goes okay today/tomorrow (I think there is a time difference between me and you). Hospital will only be a last resort. Do you think you are likely to harm yourself or try to commit suicide?

[DarknessInsideMe]

i hope your appointment goes well. sometimes it is easier to be in hospital while they stabilize you on a new or different medication so they can watch your reactions and change doses and make sure you are ok.

[inblack]

Well I was involuntarily admitted to hospital at my appointment. So now inpatient and possibly feeling even worse if that's possible

[DarknessInsideMe]

i am sorry you did not get the outcome you wanted but maybe in the end it will be the one that helps you the most. *hugs*

[when.will.it.end]

*hugs*

I hope you get the help that you need in there. Try and remember it's just because people want you to be safe.

[(No Username)]

I know it feels that it isn't what you want right now but I really hope being inpatient can help you in the longer term xxx

[inblack]

Thanks, I'm feeling better about it now.

It helps that I'm on a night pass for over the weekend. I just have to check in with the hospital every day and get my meds from them. I'm still feeling suicidal but much more in control now. It sounds like I'll be discharged on Monday and followed up by my regular psychiatrist again.

I moved up the levels fast and was compliant as I could be this time so that has helped too. I've really been pushing my overseeing psychiatrist for time with my husband and even though they seemed hesitant to approve it, in the end they did. So I'm thankful for that and for the help I'm receiving.

Although they are putting me back on Prozac which I stopped over 2 weeks ago now, which I felt made me more suicidal. Plus my brother and husband felt it did. So I'm thinking they are making a mistake but they refuse to listen and keep talking about a proper trial even though I took it for about 3 months and got up to a dose of 40mg. I mean yes there is room to increase it, but its making me more suicidal!

But whatever I don't seem to be getting a choice. I'll be telling them again that I strongly feel its a bad decision and I'd rather just switch medicaion classes all together (no more SSRI's). As well as they are referring me to a afternoon CBT group for the summer at least, so while thats a little far away I hope it will be helpful.

[talaiporia]

I'm glad you're doing a bit better, and I'm glad they allowed you leave. Do you think your brother might be able to have a word with them?

I know it's annoying when they won't listen - my GP won't at the moment, and my sister offered to see him, but I doubt he'd listen to her either. Do you think there's a medication/class that'd help?