Anger and going mute?

[MissAnonymous]

When something upsets me I tend to freeze up.

Tonight something upset me and I feel unable to say anything, its like I have lost my words.

It makes the problem worse, I know- does anyone else find this a problem?

I get tense to the point I can't speak and although I am bursting with emotional hurt its all locked up inside me.

I have no idea if this is the right place to post. Sorry if not.

How do you express when someone has upset you without being OTT or creating an regrettable situation?

[whirlpools]

I can empathise; I either 'go into' myself and don't speak or I cry and the point I was trying to make gets lost.

Something I've found helpful is to practice - to start saying when I'm mildly perturbed about something rather than when I'm furious. It seems easier to manage it more calmly that way and helps me to build up assertion skills.

[MissAnonymous]

I want to say something, but my mood right now may make that backfire. In the mean time its within me and I cant seem to see past the hurt of right now.

I used to cry, I now seem to react to everything with frustration and anger.

I do practice occasionally, but I really have to trust the person to bring it up and the person who has upset me is not someone I trust much any more due to what happened. With my partner I am much better at saying something. Its more when its people I don't know well enough to either let rip with or to ignore entirely.

I supposed it boils down to I thought I had something, and now I realise I dont and feel considering the stress I went through to instigate it, I feel let down, lied to a few other things.

I am assertive for others but rarely myself

[Mrs Sam]

I do this too although sometimes it's part of dissociation.

Sorry I don't know how to stop it. I find sleeping sometimes helps.

[Too Shy]

I go mute in social situations in general sometimes, so although it's a different situation I do completely relate to the feeling of not being able to get the words out sometimes and I know it can make that frustration even worse sometimes.

Would you like to be able to say to the other person that you're feeling angry and to express yourself that way, or does it help you to walk away from the situation for a little while? Sometimes it can help to have a walk around for a few minutes so that you can calm down a bit and then it can be a little bit easier to come back and be able to speak a bit more openly because the emotional frustration is a little bit less intense? I don't know if that makes sense though, and I know it's not always possible to do that.

One thing that people suggest sometimes is to close your eyes and take a few deep breaths before trying to speak - again, it helps some people and not others, but it's just something to bear in mind. I find it can help just to remember 'how' to get the words out sometimes though.

Sorry this isn't very helpful, but yes, I can relate to the problem definitely. x

[Cryptic.]

Perhaps writing down what you're feeling/thinking and the situation that has upset you incase the other person is unaware it has upset you, and to just write it all down, get it all out, and give it to the person? It may help you open up verbally after they read it, and they can try to discuss it all with you?