Social Anxiety/Agoraphobia -- ehh, help??

RedHorse · 08-02-2012, 01:13 PM

So, I've had really intense social anxiety and an over active nervous system for almost 6 years I guess now, ever since I stopped doing drugs.

four years ago, in my last two years of high school it was REALLY bad and I developed agoraphobia. Lately, my panic attacks have been coming back and I've been avoiding leaving my comfort zone... which has now shrunk to include only my bedroom.

When I go outside, I want to cry. Even when I go do things I love, like to the stable to see my horse. I feel like everyone hates me. I had a really bad bought of self harming recently, and I have some bright new scars on my arm that I'm hiding.. Whenever I'm around people (that I know, mostly) all I can think about is that they might one day see them.. and it makes me so nervous and upset and afraid of how they'll judge me!

I just feel nervous and scared and wimpy all the time again.. and the fact that these feelings are coming back just terrifies me because of the incredible trouble I had with it back in high school. I don't want to ever feel like that again.. but when I worry about it, it makes it worse.

any advice? I need a hug

sherlock holmes · 08-02-2012, 04:27 PM

You're not alone with this. I still have social anxiety and what I call 'residual agoraphobia'.

When I was discharged from hospital four years ago I developed severe anxiety and could not leave the house except to go to sainsburys once a week with my mum. Even then I experienced high levels of panic.

I had a lot of support from my CMHT though. My key worker would visit me at home, and when I was ready we would go for a walk to the end of the road and back. We'd talk the whole time and she would ask me to rate my anxiety. If it got high, we'd stop and stand still until it lowered, then we'd keep walking. Anxiety DOES fade if you give it a chance. If you experience panic but always run from the situation you are just reinforcing it. You have to stick with it and ride the panic out.

Then we worked up to going for a ride in the car, sitting in a coffee shop and then on getting the bus for a few stops and then getting the train, and then going to the next town and so on.

I wont lie- it was really hard. But it was worth it. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life confined to my bedroom! I wanted to do stuff- get a job, go to uni.

So right now I am able to commute to London for uni and go out by myself, but I do have social anxiety which I am trying to work on. If I'm having a bad day then I don't want to leave the house.

Have you got someone you can work with? A key worker, counsellor, someone you trust? Have you ever seen a doctor about it?

kbeth · 11-02-2012, 10:51 AM

I had really bad social anxiety disorder in high school too. It got better as I went through college and grad school. I think you have to choose something that matters enough to you that you're willing to brave the panic to do it. That's the way academics were for me. And you have to give it time. Therapy and meds helped too of course. But ultimately you have to be willing to endure the panic and wait it out. What helped you during your last bout of social anxiety, when you were younger? I'm a big believer in going back to what you know works! :)