I can't cope with my sisters anorexia anymore?

[Morrivonssey]

This is my first post and I'm on my iPod at the moment so I'm really sorry if there are any spelling mistakes I'm not a great speller and can't get on my computer at this moment so I'm sorry about that! Any way I'm 17 and my sister is 19 she has had anorexia since she was 14/15ish along with OCD and emetophobia! In some ways I understand that it isn't her that is causing her to be the way she is but in some ways I find it hard to accept. My sister was admitted to ED clinic for around 5 months and then was discharged as she refused to stay she was 18 at this point. Since she has came home my mum does everything for her to straightening her hair, tidying her room, making her drinks, making her food, going to the shop for her, giving her her meds, getting everything for her. Basically doing every little rung for her! Surly she can do these things herself well some of them? My sister constantly goes in about her ED how she can't does eat certain things that I eat and I can't even walk down the street with out ED being mentioned. Her eating disorder has ruled alot of mine and my parents life! I got Ill a few days ago with stomach flu and she hasn't ate or drank anything for four days because j am I'll! I feel so guilty fir being ill! I dunno what to do I am fed up of living around it and just watching her constantly kill herself! She calls me fat blames me for her problems and just everything! I do get some help as I have struggled with depression but I feel so stupid saying that the reason Is my sister? I feel stupid that it bothers me so much? I mean I bet there are other siblings that cope better than me, I just can't though! I feel helpless! I miss the attention for my prance but I never say it! I know it isn't my sisters fault but I really do hate her alot of the time. I feel like she plays on it sometimes like she'll say she can't eat and then she will eat secretly in the kitchen? I'm like so fed up of it dragging me down! She does nothing to help herself either she just sits around and letseveryone do everything for her. All she does it watch tv or read most of the time she just sleeps. She passes out alot. I have no idea how to cope I know I sound stupid for letting this effect me and I know it's a stupid reason to get depressed over but I am losi g the will to cope with it? I'm fed up of the guilt just for getting Ill with a cold or a bug. I'm fed up of holding back from everything because I have to help my mum cope too. What can I Do? Sorry for ranting kinda venting to!

[whirlpools]

Hugs. That sounds like a really difficult position to be in, it's no wonder you're having strong feelings towards your sister. Sometimes when people grow up with mental health problems, including anorexia, they kind of get stuck in their emotional development and so sometimes find it hard to take responsibility for themselves. This is likely to be especially so if they have spent a lot of time in inpatient units where a lot of the responsibility is taken away from you. Your mum may be doing everything for your sister partly because she feels very anxious about what's happening. Whilst your sister's very low weight alongside her mental health problems are likely to make it more difficult for her to live a normal life, it probably isn't helpful for her to stay in a place where mum does everything, as she is an adult now and needs to begin to make steps to embrace that.

I wonder if you can sit down with your mum and sister and explain to them how much your sister's behaviour is affecting you, understandably so. I think considering some family therapy could be quite helpful for you all, as an illness as severe and impacting as this causes the whole family to struggle and people are often forced into different roles. You all need support. You don't need to feel bad for voicing feelings of anger and hurt, I think most people would feel similarly in your position.

Please could you remove the weight numbers from your post as it's against the rules of the forum.

[PassedExpectations]

does your sister have a therapist? perhaps you could see about doing a family session...

[baggyjeans]

I agree with the others - a family therapy session may be the way to go! Also have you tried talking to your sister about the way you are feeling?