Told

TheGiantPanda · 04-02-2012, 12:10 PM

Last night i finally told somebody at work how i've been struggling. He was the only person i felt i could talk to, and i'm glad i did. I spoke for about 30 mins with him, and told him i keep having to take toilet breaks, just to get time to myself (obviously he doesn't know that sometimes i use that time to cut) He said if i need time to myself, go upsatirs and have a drink and a rest which was so nice to hear. We spoke about a lot amd talked about changing my hours, which do sound better and which means i dont lose any money.

He isn't my boss though, he is like a supervisor, he said he would tell my boss if i want him too. My boss i cannot trust though, he is rude and will stab you in the back to meet his targets, but maybe he needs to know, idk. Its on my records when i started that i have had a long history of depression so i never lied upon applying which can only go in my favour.

Pretty certain people are talking about me though and i'm gettin paranoid. I don't want people knowing my business but the people i work with can see im struggling, and one of them is a complete gossip king. He walked past the office and looked in when i was having that chat, when i got back down stairs i saw him whispering to another colleague and then suddenly stopped when he saw me.

Im pleased i did speak up about it, but now im just worried its somehow gonna spread around the store, or rumors are gonna get worse, ive had a rumor that i was goin to hand my notice in cus ive been so stressed, i never once mentioned to anybody about quitting, i wouldnt do that. Idk.

I see my psych next week which cannot come soon enough, im desperate to talk to somebody and try and get some more support cus i feel alone with no help and its getting worse :(

Not sure the point of this post, but just thought i'd share. Thanks for reading.

Hantise · 05-02-2012, 07:31 PM

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ABrokenOne · 06-02-2012, 02:49 AM

Your story is very inspiring. I've been contemplating telling my workplace about what I'm going through but I just can't do it. You have a lot of courage in you. <3 If you ever need to talk feel free to PM me.

TheGiantPanda · 06-02-2012, 09:53 AM

Thank you both very much for your replies.

The guy i spoke to was very understanding, but there are people who are not, including the head of HR. I was told that the guy who interviewed me had to beg her to give me a chance, she did not want me to start because of my history of depression. I was fuming when i found out, and when i spoke to my supervisor, he said she is very ignorant and has said it about other people too. It drives me mad to think that this kind of ignorance can still happen. I just worry that like minded people find out somehow and will it make it even more difficult for me.

AbrokenOne...Thanks, i'm glad i've managed to inspire you, i can tell you it does make you feel better by talking to somebody, it's less of a worry in some respects knowing that somebody else knows how you are feeling, it's just at the same time i'm thinking did i do the right thing, only time will tell. Thankyou, and you

((hugs both))