No More Depressed Excuse

aj24 · 31-01-2012, 03:36 AM

So apparently my counselor doesn't think I'm depressed anymore. I have to say I've gotten a bit over my break up and so probably that is part of it. My meds seem to be leveling off and helping. It just feels like my 'excuse' is gone. I guess I still have depression just have managed my symptoms okay enough. I just feel like it's weird to not feel depressed as much and not have that back up especially as I still SH. It's a bizarre feeling.

talaiporia · 31-01-2012, 07:18 AM

What do you think?

Recovering is strange, particularly if it's the first time in a long time - or even forever - that you've been okay. It takes a while to adjust back to "the real world". In some ways, it's almost like discovering everything again.

You'll get used to it in time, I'm sure, but if it's bothering you a lot it would be worth talking to your counsellor about it.

Do you know what's triggering your SH now that you're not so depressed? Habbit? If so, it might be a good idea to give up by using "White Wednesday" or other techniques to reduces the frequency of your self harm.

talaiporia · 31-01-2012, 07:21 AM

Also [thread]

aj24 · 03-02-2012, 02:27 AM

I don't think I am as depressed and it isn't as regular but I think I am still depressed. I guess I'm just not ready to be okay it feels like. Strange sounding I know. The SH is a lot of habit and trying to find reasons like when I would be really angry if I didn't have my anti-depressants or getting blood drawn.

Tig · 03-02-2012, 12:38 PM

I think recovery is strange, it's something you aren't used to because we get used to being ill. I was speaking to a nurse a couple of weeks ago, not particularly about me, but about recovery in general and she said when you start getting better it's actually quite scary because it's so unusual to you.

Self harm can become very addictive, and as you said, like a habit so it is going to be hard to break that pattern but you can do it. I like the ideas that people have shared about starting with the White Wednesdays. Do you want to stop self harming?

aj24 · 04-02-2012, 03:26 AM

Sometimes I want to stop, but the reasons just don't seem to last. I'll want to stop because I'll get nervous about doing it or I don't want anyone to see. I feel like I want to be triggered even though I'm not as sad and depressed and that was when it was easy to get angry and triggered. I don't do it every day so I understand the White Wednesday but I don't feel like I 'need' it.