I have had my suspicions for a while but I don't know what to do about it.
Within the DSM-IV categorisation criteria I hit all at A-E points and 7/9 and 6/7 respectively on the depression and mania sections. I have had these symptoms for years and have dealt with them in various ways including self harm. Most of the time my daily function is only affected by the lows (unable to get out of bed to attend work, loss of interest and motivation, stop eating etc) so I usually just sleep through my lows which my work and education choices have enabled me to do. However I love my highs, I love how productive I become and how much energy I have. Even though my thoughts race and I am easily distracted and feel like I am going crazy its a good crazy and an amazing feeling.
My problem lies with the fact that I am very flat emotionally even when stable, in my lows I get the worthless/hopeless/low self-esteem thoughts but I don't get the emotions associated with these. My fear is that they will attempt to medicate the lows and as empty moods is a common side effect of many anti-depressants I will lose my highs. My highs are the only time I ever feel good and it is as close to happy as I am going to get. I guess I am scared that if they are gone I will lose any motivation I have in life, and I can see myself becoming incredibly depressed and possibly suicidal (as I have a history with suicidal thoughts as an adolescent, not that anyone knows though).
However I am going to qualify as a nurse in 6 months and I am concerned and rather uncomfortable applying for jobs when I know that there are days where I can't function enough to go to work. I feel I need to be honest with them but I also feel I cannot do that without a diagnosis.
I guess I am just looking for some honest advice and opinions from any other people who suffer from Bipolar, does medication and therapy really help?
Um, well I have to say I don't have bi-polar. (I have depression/anxiety). But I'm a psychiatric nursing assistant, and I work with a lot of young women who do. Here's what I can say: not all anti-depressants cause empty moods. Mine don't. And if you have bi-polar, what they'll treat you with is mood stabilizers. These aim to even out your moods, so instead of the crazy highs and empty lows you'll have something in the middle, without the racing thoughts and stuff but where you don't feel empty. (I know that depressed empty feeling, it sucks.) I would tell your doctor that you've had suicidal thoughts, as that will help them get the right meds. Some anti-depressants can cause people's suicidal thoughts to get worse (very few people, but it does happen), so watch out for that. I've seen a huge difference in bipolar patients once they're on medication, and I know anti-depressants have been a life-saver for me. So I would give meds a try. Are you seeing a doctor now? If not, definitely do!
have you been formally diagnosed? I think it is good that you are aware of your experience and what you describe as your highs and lows, but no one but a medical professional can diagnose a disorder because there is a possibility that just by reading the DSM you can hit several different diagnositic criterias. If you feel that you are struggling with bipolar or a mood disorder than it would be best to speak with a medical professional to assist you in sorting out what treatment avenue would be most suitable for you.
Like what has been said above there has been a lot of changes and improvement in psychotropic medications and as such people are more and more being able to get stablilised and lead a typical life. I am a firm believer though that medication is the only answer to treatment as I think that without changing thoughts and belief patterns it is difficult to really move forward.
I wish you well and I hope that you can reach out when you need too.
life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself.
To start with, I wouldn't mention the word 'bipolar' to a GP. They don't usually appreciate it much when patients suggest their own diagnoses. Just describe the problems you are having with your mood - it might be an idea to make a list beforehand, so you can say everything you need to in the 10 minute time frame. Forget about the DSM and ICD, and just describe what is making life difficult for you and take it from there.
And the illusion of love is the only promise of defence, and even that will crumble.
StoicNight,
I don't know if you are in the UK or US or wherever, but I do think that as a person becoming a health practitioner, you have a responsibility of care to your future patients to deal with any MH issues you might have.
As a person diagnosed with bipolar, I did complete a professional healthcare qualification, and from the medication and therapy standpoint- those were the grounding areas in my life. I do think that it would be worthwhile to see if you can access counselling for the self-harm issues, even if your GP does not prescribe you antidepressants or refer you on to a psychiatrist.
I think both meds and therapy work. But the colleagues in health can be less than considerate, so it is important to know your rights. This is in terms of who you disclose to, what help is available, and how to deal with your health. Occupational health is the department that deals with issues like that, but sometimes to even register as a health professional after qualifying, you need to get signed off medically.
I personally think it is no benefit to your career to hide or ignore MH issues. At the same time, self diagnosis and self medication/ poor coping strategies such as cutting do cause problems.
Good luck at the doctor, and if you are not satisfied get a second opinion.
~Happy tomatoes together we will be~
You say toe- may- toe, I say toe- mah- toe:
Let's call the whole thing- red
“It’s time to lead the third revolution, which is not to say we want to be at the top of the world, but to say we want to change the world. Because the way the world has been designed by men is not working. It’s not working for women, it’s not working for men,
it’s not working for polar bears.” Arianna Huffington 2014
I went to the doctors today so they are in the process of sorting it. Unfortunately it was a locum and she wasn't very good but my usual doctor was sitting in so I need to go see him next week to discuss it further.
