I sent this guy I like a card in the mail but it got sent back as i hadnt put the correct amount of postage on it.
My sister got to the mail before i did, so now she has his address. She is often rude, and in the past she has been mean to another guy i liked, but pretended to be me whilst doing it.
Hes never online any more and he doesnt have a phone so im unsure how i can warn him that she might do this.
If you were me, how would you approach this situation? Im concerned he might believe that i sent it.
I think you kind of answered your own question there.
If you really believe your sister is going to do something, you have his address so write to him and warn him
But also, just because your sister did it before and"is often rude" doesn't mean she's going to do it now
Yeah, the best practical advice for the future would be to find out that you're using the correct postage before you send an item. Over here (UK) if the sender hasn't put enough postage on, the postman will ask the recipient if they're able to make up the cost. But even with that system it's a bit awkward / embarrassing.
Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do you want?
I will make sure that I have enough postage next time.
I just hope my sister & or her friends dont write him :*(
Cause he doesn't really ever talk to me anymore so I wont know if they do :*(
Unless he tells me but he's shy so I dont know.
I hope he doesn't believe what they say if they write him :*(
What do u mean?? By cross the bridge if u come to it??
Like if he tells me that they sent him a letter or if someone sends him a letter acting like me than tell him what they say isnt true??
I think she might have cause she was looking at it & typing on her phone :*(
But what would she do with it in the future for future use??
She cant threaten to send him a letter just if I dont do everything that she says thats mean & wrong :*(
But what if she does??
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fry
Cross that bridge if you come to it.
Did your sister actually copy down the address for future use?
I didn't send him a letter I sent him a birthday card.
I did it to be nice we used to talk often.
We dont talk that much anymore or at all cause he never has money to put on his phone & he never comes online anymore.
Oh well!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bleeding Angel
If he doesnt talk to you is there any point sending him letters?
What do u mean?? By cross the bridge if u come to it??
Like if he tells me that they sent him a letter or if someone sends him a letter acting like me than tell him what they say isnt true??
I think she might have cause she was looking at it & typing on her phone :*(
But what would she do with it in the future for future use??
She cant threaten to send him a letter just if I dont do everything that she says thats mean & wrong :*(
But what if she does??
Crossing the bridge when you comes to it means dealing with the problem when it happens rather than constantly worrying about if it's going to happen
Just because it's mean and wrong doesn't mean she can't threaten to send him a letter
And if she does send him one then maybe you should follow the advice I gave you in my first reply (that you clearly ignored) and write to him and warn him.
What do u mean?? By cross the bridge if u come to it??
Like if he tells me that they sent him a letter or if someone sends him a letter acting like me than tell him what they say isnt true??
I think she might have cause she was looking at it & typing on her phone :*(
But what would she do with it in the future for future use??
She cant threaten to send him a letter just if I dont do everything that she says thats mean & wrong :*(
But what if she does??
It sounds as if dealing with the main issue of the poor relationship that you have with your sister would help more in the long run. That would prevent things like this happening more in future.
Do you think you could talk to her about her general behaviour towards you?
Perhaps there's a parent or someone around who could help mediate a discussion between you to prevent arguing or one of you walking out in frustration before anything gets sorted out.
Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do you want?
I dont think my sister will really do it i'm just worried that she might cause she has threatned to do stuff like this before & once did.
And I haven't been able to get on her phone to see if she saved his address cause she sleeps on it & if shes not sleeping her phone is always in her hand.
I'm sorry
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ghosted Liberation
Crossing the bridge when you comes to it means dealing with the problem when it happens rather than constantly worrying about if it's going to happen
Just because it's mean and wrong doesn't mean she can't threaten to send him a letter
And if she does send him one then maybe you should follow the advice I gave you in my first reply (that you clearly ignored) and write to him and warn him.
Whenever I try talking to her about it she just shouts/yells at me & denys it
She denys it to my parents too How will I know if she or her friends send him a letter?? He's really shy & so I don't know if he will say anything to me about it. So I wont know if they send him one or not & I will want to know if they do but I will feel dumb & weird asking him so I rather not
I sent him a Christmas Card in the mail but he never told me that he got it but he did cause it never came back.& I think he was hinting at me that he did.
I can't look on her phone to see if his address is on there I have tried getting it but she sleeps on it and when she's not sleeping it's alway's in her hand and she might have gave her friends his address already
Today she got really mad at me cause my mom told her that I said that her friend & her were sharing the same boyfriend since them 3 are always together.So she called me up from her friends house shouting/yelling at me & told me to shut up or she was going to do something & she wouldn't tell me what.
I didn't say what my mom said that I did my mom just thought it & than blamed me as me saying it.So I told my sister that and she's like right whatever. & Than like 10 mins later she texted me shes like well mom needs to shut up about it.
My mom does that she will think stuff up & than she will tell my sister that I said it I told my mom not to & shes like alright I wont.Than she stops for awhile and than does it again
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fry
It sounds as if dealing with the main issue of the poor relationship that you have with your sister would help more in the long run. That would prevent things like this happening more in future.
Do you think you could talk to her about her general behaviour towards you?
Perhaps there's a parent or someone around who could help mediate a discussion between you to prevent arguing or one of you walking out in frustration before anything gets sorted out.
Is this the same sister as the one with the child?
Because if so maybe someone could perhaps facilitate a discussion between the two of you where you could discuss problems such as her daughter's care and her behaviour towards you?
Also how old is your sister? Do you both live at home with your parents? I am pretty sure that sending him anything will be too much effort and that she will be too busy in her relationship (whether its 2 or 3 way :wink: ) and leading her own life to bother. Its probably not a good idea to try and get her phone either as this will just lead to more animosity between the two of you.
Sounds like an antagonistic and unpleasant situation, and I'm sorry to hear that you're mum is purposefully difficult and stirs things like you've described. All I can really suggest is that you somehow get a neutral person to mediate so that you can all talk through and sort out relationship between you all. They sound mean. Have you any idea why they pick on you like this?
Shouting, yelling and denial won't help anything. It would need to be a calm conversation where every person's views are respected and taken into account. I think this would help you more on the whole as it is difficult to answer all these questions about every situation. If you felt more confident in yourself in these relationships, you wouldn't feel the need to be asking about the minute details of how to behave.
Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do you want?
Right, I'm going to assume you met this guy online and have never met him? If this is the case and he doesn't/can't call you, he is never online anymore, and he didn't even thank you directly for the other card you sent him, I think it's a bit of a sign he's not interested.
If your sister went to all that trouble to write a letter and send it then I can't really see how it would cause much of a problem, seeing as you don't talk to him anymore anyway.
I don't think your question is an issue really, I think the bigger issue is that you and your family seem to be leading rather destructive lives. You have bad relationships with your sisters, as far as I'm aware you're not working and you're living at home. Not to mention all of the problems with your parents and your niece and the father of your niece. I don't know your situation but I think it would be really helpful to start making positive changes in your life. Rise above the things your sisters do, set the example for them. I'm not saying take lot's of cr*p from them, but if they are being rude or confrontational try to sit down and talk to them like adults. Or if they won't have it, walk away.
Start thinking about something you want to do with your life. Do some research into opportunities etc. I'm not 100% about US but I'm guessing there are grants available for if you want to go and study something. Take some nightclasses, get out of the house and do something you enjoy and that is productive.
If this guy gets in contact again and your sister has been rude to him, then you will be able to explain what happened. Otherwise, all you can do is let it be. If he wants to contact you, then he will.
Finally, make sure you are safe with things you are doing online. I'm not sure which guy this is about, but in the past you have talked about alot of guys online that you are thinking of meeting. Never go without telling someone responsible what you are doing, remember, people who are online are not always who they say they are. Giving out addresses is also dangerous, if you are not 100% sure that the person is who they say they are. You need to make sure you are safe.
