It seems as if I'm getting weaker. And that I cannot push myself to go any further with not cutting. I'm stressed. I'm upset. I feel like I suck at life and everything. It sucks being a perfectionist, but I am, and I cannot stand the imperfections that people point out to me. That I'm not good enough. And honestly, I just want to cut. I'm just gonna take a burning shower, and cry myself to sleep. Again. Since when did I become weak? I used to be so strong, and now, I can't even handle stress. And I'm such a raving b*tch when I'm upset. I probably hurt my friend. I don't know anymore. I'm such a horrid person. Honestly I deserve pain. :l
"And I don't want the world to see me,
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's meant to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am..." Iris-Goo Goo Dolls
All of those negative things you say about yourself are false. Just because you struggle from time-to-time does not mean you are weak. Every single person on this planet has rough times. You still being here and seeking help from this site shows just how strong you really are. It takes a lot of courage to be able to admit to feeling bad. I know this is easier said then done, but try not to listen to those people who point out your imperfections. One thing that would help me when I feel like this is write down all of the things that I like about myself and then keep adding to it as the time goes on. That way, you can always look back at it when you start to feel down and it can be a reminder to show you how great of a person you truly are.
I know how you feel. Being a perfectionist does make things more difficult than they should be. I do the same thing to myself where I always focus on the negative aspects of myself. You need to remember that most people don't even notice the negatives that you do, and you don't deserve pain or punishment. I know it is difficult, and I hope you are okay!
I feel exactly the same. But whilst i feel it, i do know it isnt true. And neither is it true for you. You uave to try and focus on anything nice people say, maybe keep any complimentary texts saved on your phone, same with emails and so on, so you can look back, i find this very helpful
He was no longer jean valjean but no. 24601 -les miserable
Some of life's mysteries will never be solved, such as why, after spending an entire evening listenong to Bach, do I find myself humming "the birdie song".......
I am reaching, but i fall, and the stars are black and cold, as i stare into the void of a world that cannot hold- les miserables
See, I tried making lists about good things about myself, but I've never een gotten one thing. And I do save my posutive texts from my best friend. But I just don't know how to raise my self-confidence, and decrease my perfectionism.
"And I don't want the world to see me,
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's meant to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am..." Iris-Goo Goo Dolls
The perfectionist part I can't really help you with since I've never been able to stop myself from being that way, lol. You can always ask your friends to list of some thing that they like about you since it can be hard sometimes to see your own good qualities.
