Miscarriage

Revolving Door · 10-12-2011, 12:17 PM

I had a miscarriage (am still in the process) and am just not coping. I was going to get a termination, but something inside me wasn't so sure about that, and I hadn't talked to anyone about it. When I was getting my scan and they said they couldn't find a heart beat I was gutted.

I think the worst has past with the bleeding and the cramping. But I've got to go in to get the surgery to have everything removed.

I'm scared and tired. This was my first pregnancy. And just everythings a bit of kilter now....

just needing some advice please.

Thanks xx

Imperfect.Star · 10-12-2011, 01:36 PM

Hi, I'm so sorry you're having to go through this.
Do you have someone who can be with you through this, you could really do with support right now.
A couple of things you should try to remember...this is not in any way your fault. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, your reproductive system or how you were behaving during the pregnancy. It's just one of those awful things that happens.
You are not alone. Sadly miscarriage is very common and you are likely to come across other women who have been through it. Let other people help you.
This does not predict anything about having children in the future. When you're ready to try again you will be able to.
There is no right way to respond to this. If you need to grieve take time to do it.
We're here for you.

Stellata · 10-12-2011, 07:40 PM

All aspects of grief are totally natural in this situation.

Have you been offered any emotional support in connection with this?

hannahs04 · 11-12-2011, 04:50 AM

((hugs)) Sweetie, i know how dreadful this is for you!! Especially with it being your first. I've been there. And even after my first miscarriage i had two succesful pregnancies. I just had a miscarriage in August as well, it was horrid. I've been a bit of a mess since. But recently started coming out of my slump. Feel free to PM me anytime okay! ((hugs)) it will get better! I promise!

Revolving Door · 13-12-2011, 04:02 PM

Sorry for the delayed response.

Thank you for your kind words. I haven't been given any real support, but will be seeing my Psychiatrist in the new year. I am in a lot of pain still, like bad period pain, which is not nice! I am fine in the morning but by 2pm I am taking pain killers.

I dono I just had no one to really chat to about it. And felt talking on here would be better. I am just so sore and tired by afternoon and through to the evening....

I am going into hospital on thursday for the surgery....so hope that will help with the pain! *Figures crossed*

Thank you for the replies.

xx

Mrs Sam · 13-12-2011, 09:07 PM

I completely understand how you feel. I don't think people realise how physically exhausting a miscarriage is as well as mentally. I miscarried for 7 weeks and it was horrid.

I hope the surgery helps, in the meantime a hot water bottle might help too.

Sending you lots of cuddles xxx

Niniane · 13-12-2011, 09:22 PM

Hi,
I don't have much to say to you apart from telling you how sorry I am for you. Can't you see your psych sooner or phone a crisis line if you're having trouble dealing with the termination ?

Take care of yourself.

midnight.queen · 14-12-2011, 03:03 AM

Hello, dear.
I am so so so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine the heartbreak you have went through, and I won't pretend to. My advice to you is to try and keep company around you... I recently went through a different but also horrible loss, and I've found that the less you're alone... the less alone/depressed you feel.
Pm me if you need anything <3

Revolving Door · 14-12-2011, 11:03 AM

Thank you for your kind replies. Really appreciate them. I am getting on with my reading and doing some tidying today, then my mum and I are going out to get the Christmas Trees for her place and mine, and some decorations for mine (first Christmas in my flat). So think the boyfriend and I shall be decorating the tree tonight :)

He is getting worried about the amount of blood I am loesing, so is being really sweet. Which is nice.

I'm hoping the surgery doesn't exhaust me as I really need to get back to work. But there is nothing I can do if it does....guess I will find out soon enough!

Mandimoo · 14-12-2011, 11:25 AM

Re the amount of blood, don't forget that there will be more than the usual month,s worth built up and it goes into overdrive more blood supply to the area etc when you conceive. So sorry for your loss I had 2 early miscarriages which were thankfully uncomplicated. Hope all goes well tomorrow x