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Old 09-12-2011, 09:15 PM   #1
Acephalous
 
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What's The Most Obvious Thing Your Therapist Has Said To You?

Okay so we all know that people in the MH system say the funniest things. So here's a place to share then, and visit when you need a cheering up

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Old 09-12-2011, 09:19 PM   #2
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Today's gems:

"You're here for your appointment?"
---
"You are not alone here" - No, because there's you and me here, i'm depressed not stupid
---
"You look flat today" - Nope still just regular human shape!

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Old 09-12-2011, 09:22 PM   #3
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"So what is the worst thing that could happen at the moment?"

"I'd try to kill myself again."

"What effect would that have on you?"

Death, hopefully?

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Old 09-12-2011, 10:24 PM   #4
Cacoethes
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'how are you' always gets me. well, if i was ok, would i be here?

'all you need to do, is find Jesus, go on, say Jesus'

ok, i respect your religion and everything, but i dont think Jesus is going to help with my problems.



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 09-12-2011, 10:29 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scarletts Web View Post
'how are you' always gets me. well, if i was ok, would i be here?

'all you need to do, is find Jesus, go on, say Jesus'

ok, i respect your religion and everything, but i dont think Jesus is going to help with my problems.
I hate it when they say 'how are you?' its like well dur what do you think.

I also had a dr in a and e try to turn me to religion, we had a 10 minute argument!



"Never be a spectator of unfairness or studpidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." Christopher Hitchens

'When words fail, music speaks'

I am transsexual and homoromantic and proud to be.




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Old 09-12-2011, 11:48 PM   #6
PassedExpectations
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what would you like them to ask though, "how bad are you feeling today?" ? you don't want to be unconsiously forced to feel that you aren't well. "how are you today?" is a nuetral question.

sometimes i need help summarizing what i'm thinking... but when they summarize it for me it can come out pretty odd




this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.

The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.



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Old 10-12-2011, 12:15 AM   #7
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''I'm thinking that you are probably not doing too well at the moment''

and this isn't an 'obvious' thing that they say but it is definitely ****ing stupid and frustrating:

''On a scale of 1 to 10, how is your mood?''

OH MY LIFE!! :@



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Old 10-12-2011, 12:42 AM   #8
Cacoethes
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PassedExpectations View Post
what would you like them to ask though, "how bad are you feeling today?" ? you don't want to be unconsiously forced to feel that you aren't well. "how are you today?" is a nuetral question.
thats a good point, never thought of it like that!



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 10-12-2011, 12:43 AM   #9
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oh, another one ive been asked quite a few times by psych assesment in a&e.

'were you trying to end your life?'

you know what i did, what do you think!?



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 10-12-2011, 01:13 AM   #10
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beginning of the year I was in seeing my counsellor and was in tears
....she said "wow lauren, you seem really sad and upset"

well duh!!! what else does it mean when your crying that much?

I also hate when you tell them your not feeling safe, you dont want to be safe or you have plans to hurt yourself and they ask "do you think you will be able to keep safe, please let me know if you dont think you can?"
....I just told them I had plans and didnt want to be alive anymore!!



sometimes being strong means not holding back the tears but letting them fall
~˙·٠Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ٠·˙~


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r.i.p my beautiful girl jackie. i will love you always no matter what - 6/5/10


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Old 10-12-2011, 09:44 AM   #11
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When i was in A&E I had
' Did you want to die lauren?'
'No' It was for sh on my upper arm
'Did you avoid been found?'
'No' Once again its for a cut i arent suicidal
' So you didn't want to die then lauren?'
'No!'
I know they have to ask these questions but its gets on my nerves!

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Old 10-12-2011, 10:40 AM   #12
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"You'd be easier to help if you were schizophrenic".

My doc told me that a few weeks ago before sending me to a crisis unit, and although it's a bit sad, I think, in a twisted way, it was a funny thing to say.



-- English is not my mother-tongue, so I apologize for any spelling/grammar mistake --

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Old 10-12-2011, 11:15 PM   #13
Snora
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Okay, this isn't something someone's told me, but a friend of mine was told it.
Psych: "You know, I can diagnose you right now!! You're depressed!"
My friend: "...You do realize that's why I'm here, right?"



Everything you need is around you.
The only danger is inside you.



So punch another pillow, to make the pain a little less.
And run another race, to make the pace a little faster.
Use another knife, to make the cut a little deeper.
Then shed another tear, to make reality a little truer.


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Old 12-12-2011, 06:19 AM   #14
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Thank goodness my new therapist doesn't say obvious things; but I had one that if I put all the obvious things she said I will type until christmas.

Those kind of therapists are an insult to my intelligence; I might be f....d up but I'm not an idiot.



I write this alone on my bed; I've poisoned every room in the house; The place is quiet and so alone; Pretend there's something worth waiting for; There's nothing nice in my head
The adult world took it all away; Wake up with same spit in my mouth; Cannot tell if it is real or not; I try and walk in a straight line
An imitation of dignity - MSP - From despair to Where

I am human and I need to be loved just like everybody else does - The Smiths How Soon is Now


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Old 12-12-2011, 12:37 PM   #15
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'You need to get out more'

(Um. Do you remember diagnosing me with Avoidant PD? And the little panic attack thing we mentioned ... ?)

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Old 12-12-2011, 03:56 PM   #16
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i like this thread lol. i have lots but here's a few;

were you trying to kill yourself when you took all the pills? hmmm i'm on a drip and came in kicking and screaming so i'm thinking possibly.

what were you trying to do when dangling off the motorway bridge? well i took the saying 'go play with traffic' a bit too literally.

this is a sad one when i was being stitched first in hospital 'i'm not gonna lie but this is going to hurt but it probably won't stop you from doing it again'- do u really think that if it didn't hurt i'd not do it again?

do you think these anti depressants are working? well given that i've taken them all at once i'm thinking not too well.

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Old 12-12-2011, 05:20 PM   #17
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^^^^^ They are unfortunately very similar to some of my experiences. *Hugs*

I have also had the "Were you trying to take your own life"... my response wasn't too great with, "If I was, I think I really suck at trying"

I have also had the... "Don't you know that this is going to scar?" ... I'm pretty sure that isnt the worst of my troubles at this current time.



Here's the day you hoped would never come,
Don't feed me violins, just run with me
through rows of speeding cars.
21 on the run, on the run, on the run
From myself, from myself and everyone
I better leave the light on
The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, The weakness,
O, I need this
Hi, I'm Roli Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything

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Old 12-12-2011, 05:45 PM   #18
Cacoethes
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my named nurse at one hospital, decided that in a managers hearing, would change the meaning of PD to 'petulant disorder'
i lol'd though.

in another managers hearng, or tribunal, i forget, i aquired the diagnosis of 'complex PTSD' as well as the other ones.
that was the first time the psych had mentioned it, i was like WTF? since when??
lol



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 12-12-2011, 05:49 PM   #19
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Today:
"Where are you now?"
"I'm on the tram"
"How's the traffic your end?"
"There's no traffic, I'm on a TRAM"



Let us go then you and I, when the evening is spread out against the sky, like a patient etherized upon a table
- T.S. Elliot

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Old 12-12-2011, 06:38 PM   #20
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New stupidity update from me:

'why didnt you ring someone?'
'because i have difficulty talking on the phone, im rarely able to answer calls, let alone make them'
'well if that happens again here's the phone number for the crisis team'

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