The thought of christmas terrifies me...*sadly updated*
we have nothing. we have signed up for help but tye only bring 2 gifts for the child.
How will santa come? I put the tree up and only the bottom lights came on so I started crying.....just losing it...I dont want to be here for christmas..ive done all i can and if im being selfish by saying i dont want to be here...then i guess im being selfish...
Well, since i posted this i have had a beautiful person who is sending a gift which means the world to me :) also, my sister is getting him something, and my mom is helping. and all this will be from santa. im going to buy him a bike, ive looked at prices and have found one. so things are really looking up!!
Im feeling all sappy now and i guess christmas miracles do happen!
Also, can you write out like emotional gifts, praising them for good things, all that kind of thing? Like also promises to go to the beach, or play in the park with them, or help them with whatever? Does that make sense?
I can imagine how painful it must feel to to be able to give material things.
I know how hard it can be without money at the holidays. Is there anyway maybe you could all make something together. Even if its just a batch of cookies or have a family movie night?
do you have anything like freecycle where you live (craigslist maybe?) where people put items up free to a good home? i have had 2 bikes from there, one toddler one and one 4 years+ that looks more like 6-7 years+ so i put it in the outhouse, will do for when they are older, it looks nearly brand new. you might be able to pick up some games for his ds - even if not the ones he wants, better than nothing right?
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
christmas is taken care of...but things have taken a turn for the worst for me...
kelly's mother just beat me into the ground with her words. im not going into tjhe conversation but it was horrible.
she did bring up appreciatioon. but she has never shown an ounce of appreciation for me. im hurt. really hurt. i want to harm so so bad but i cant because i promised keith.
i have a migraine and the emotional pain hurts in my stomach...i want it all to go away...i want to go away...
Rach....I am so proud of you and the strength you show in your promises to Keith. I look forward to the time when those promises are for the both of you. We are here though if you want to talk further about the situation with Kelly's mother. Please try and remember hun that people's reactions say nothing really about you, but a world about them.
*thinking of you* xxxxx
I have to go sleep fairly soon i.e next hour or two but will reply soonest.
I have deleted her from FB and then I went on a spree of posting pics of keith because it seems that he has been put on the back burner for a while and thats not right.
kelly's mother never acknowledges Keith, never asks about him, he doesnt exist to her yet she expects me to be a mother to kaleb. I feel a resentment building towards kaleb but I will take care of that. It's irrational I know because Kaleb is precious and has done nothing wrong. I love him so very much.
its easy to ignore an issue that's not right in your face all the time (her not you!) Keith isn't there so she can ignore him, but Kaleb is. It's understandable she'd want the best for her grandchild (however she shows it) but she should not be taking issue with you! You do everything for that child, I bet she doesn't realise (or doesn't want to realise) how much you do for him.
love u, mand x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
Thank you all. it means the world to me. ive been having alot of noise(the man) in my head lately. its been so much that i wan to stay asleep as much as possible.
but i can lay there asleep forever. i am fighting him off. i hate him an dhe knows it. so much emorions tied into one. sorry guys...not very stable.holidays are so hard.
Can you let any medical professionals know that he is loud right now, to keep them in the loop of what is going on for you? Is there a PRN or anuthing you can take that helps?
Also, I know such things are often brought on by stress (I am worse as well at the moment) so can you try to do something everyday just for you - A soak in a bath, a jog, some meditation, whatever works for you and helps release some of that stress?
Thinking of you.
Roiben x
If the Human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we wouldn't.
Rach, you have bneen here before, and you made it thru.
Know what?
You will again.
Because of Keith.
Because you are not a quitter.
Because you are strong enough.
Because you have much to offer this world.
Because you are a lovely person.
Yes, it hurts and im so sorry it does. You have had more than enough hurt in your life, but you are a survivor.
And even more, you are a mom.
A mom who loves her child beyond everything.
Ctc me anytime.
Love ya.
xxx
thank you so much, You guys have made me cry happy tears. You're right. I will get through this, just like every other year. They just keep coming and I keep taking them. And I can't wait to see my baby!!!!(14 year old,lol)
