Another fine mess ........:(

DJR · 25-10-2011, 08:54 PM

Yesterday i was betrayed by my care coordinator, she has known about a blade i carrie for months but all of a sudden its a problem. She has disscused it with the local CSO and now i have till 5pm thursday to hand over said blade or the police will come take it from me!
She then gave me a coppie of a risk assesment they had done and in it said that there was signifficant risk of jepardy/ threat to others !! . I was shocked and still am. I dont understand why she has turned on me , im so angry i have
had to ignore her calls because i am so tempted to unleash a barrage of verbal
abuse at her. I dont want to give up my blade although i know i can go buy another....... I can never go to this woman again.

I'd just like some thoughts or advice on this mess im in.

Many thanks Deb

Whispered Secret · 25-10-2011, 11:41 PM

The thing is, it is illegal for someone to carry a blade larger than a certain length. And as such she really did have to check what the rules were. She only has your best interests at heart, really she does. Because if you got found with the blade on you you would be at risk of being arrested etc.

Mayb eyou could try unleashing the barrage of abuse onto paper with the intention of not sending it. Then at least that's a healthy way to get it out of your mind, or at least lessen the impact it is having on you.

This is a common problem for self harmers, and it's not really like they can make an exception just because we self harm. We are a threat to thers if we are carrying blades around with us, especially if you were to dissociate etc. I'm not saying you would harm anyone maliciously, but things happen and people get hurt. They HAD to include it in the risk assessment.

I'm sorry I can't help anymore, but maybe this is an excuse to start looking at ways that you can cope away from home without your blade, instead of instantly going out to buy another??

DJR · 26-10-2011, 10:08 PM

Hi thanks for your reply, i have thought things over and over and i am not going to go see this lady ever again. i'm not going to give her my blade, ( its more than one inch under the legal size) so if they want it so bad they will have to come and get it.
It may be a petty way of dealing with the situation but at this point i dont care . if i cant talk without fear of her grassing me up , then im doomed before i start.

roiben · 27-10-2011, 01:29 PM

Have to say this is one part of risk assesments I have never understood....

but then, I also carry a blade around with me, almost as a comfort blanket I suppose, so I do appreciate your reluctance to hand it over. I wonder if you can look at ways of replacing the one item with something of less risk, such as a stress ball or something which can be used as a safe alternative e.g elastic bands. I did this at one point and it works well, although it does take a bit of effort and slowly reducing how often the blade is with you.

I do hope you are able to still get some help from these people. Could you perhaps talk to this person about what she has done and how it makes you feel and look at ways of reducing the amount of time the blade is carried gradually - certainly more gradual than thursday.

*safe hugs*

Roiben x