low again

dollpart · 11-10-2011, 04:56 PM

yeh that's all really. stupid post. will delete dont worry,

Liriel · 11-10-2011, 04:59 PM

Don't delete - it's ok to feel low.
I know we don't know one another but here's a hug x

dollpart · 12-10-2011, 12:27 AM

thanks for the hug.

afternoon sobbing, morning drinking. had a good night watching films with my brother, he cheers me up.

tifflehan · 12-10-2011, 08:10 AM

Hey hun. You're not alone.

(((HUGS)))

staceyrawrcakes · 12-10-2011, 10:04 AM

It's not stupid. You don't need to delete it. If you need to talk you know we're all here for you.

~Grace~ · 12-10-2011, 08:36 PM

Please dont delete...use this thread for support and to let things out if you can xxx

staceyrawrcakes · 13-10-2011, 08:30 AM

How are you feeling today?

dollpart · 13-10-2011, 09:43 AM

I am OK thanks. I brought my wee sis in to school and then I used the free outdoor gym at the park and went on the swings for half an hour. Yesterday I went to the poetry library. I have been drinking a lot. And counting calories again.

My ex (oh my god ex!) wants me to go up next week to get my stuff and say a "proper goodbye". But she keeps going on about how busy she is and not letting me know when she wants me to come... and Edinburgh is really quite far, and it is nearly the end of the week. Is it a bit unfair of her or am I too sensitive?

I am oscillating between positive action (although booze fuelled): submitting for publication, exercising, talking, trying to be happy, letting time with my lil bro cheer me up...... and falling to bits: sobbing, hating myself, harming, throwing up food, drinking continuously through the day... skipping meds, taking natural appetite suppressants.

I want not to love her.
I want not to hate her.

staceyrawrcakes · 13-10-2011, 12:26 PM

I'm glad you're feeling a bit better today.
I don't think you're being too sensitive at all. She needs to let you know what's going on rather than expect you to wait around waiting for her to tell you when.
At least you're trying to keep busy :) If you need to talk my PM box is always open :)

dollpart · 14-10-2011, 12:23 AM

HAHAHAHAHA she FINALLY came out to her dad today and it's over LOL. I just can't be sad.

It is all a ****ing joke.

dollpart · 14-10-2011, 12:27 AM

Thanks for the support Stacey

means a lot x

dollpart · 17-10-2011, 10:15 AM

i have started cutting again.
drinking again.
food stressing again.

she never replies to my texts or anything- i don't text often, only twice to check if 2 different dates were ok.

then she called me to put me on the phone to her 3 year old niece and say, awww my niece misses you, she doesn't understand why you aren't here anymore.

seems like she is not too busy to say things like that and not too busy for anything except

well me.

i want to delete her from facebook but i don't want to hurt her and i can't lose that link.

aaaaarrrrrrrr.

i was doing SO well and now i am starting to slip again.

tifflehan · 17-10-2011, 01:02 PM

You can bring yourself back from this hun, you are strong.

dollpart · 19-10-2011, 11:13 PM

Thanks Tiff.

two of my exesgot engaged this week.

EEEEK

dollpart · 20-10-2011, 01:18 AM

i love her.

tifflehan · 20-10-2011, 08:32 AM

(((HUGS)))

staceyrawrcakes · 20-10-2011, 02:45 PM

*hugs*
It'll all work out in the end, I promise. I know it's hard right now but it'll get better. My PM box is open if you wanna talk