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Triggering (SI) - IS this normal?
I started off cutting.
Then I started drinking, which replaced the cutting for a while.
Then I started doing both fairly moderately.
Then my situation changed and I started to get a bit better.
I stopped drinking almost completely and didn't cut anywhere near as much.
Now I'm cutting myself because I hate myself so much for the drink problems.
I hate myself. I really do. I hate my past and I dislike what I've become even though I should be proud. I wish people would stop saying how well I've done cos I don't see it like that. I see it as how much I've screwed up everything. I don't want to be different to everyone else. I don't want to have achieved this in difficult circumstances...I want a normal past. I know I can't change that but a happy childhood would have made so much difference and it's beginning to feel like something I can't live without.
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