It's been a while since I posted, since I took a pretty serious overdose not long ago I've been slightly...dead. I'm not really functioning properly, I'm more doing things because I have to, not because I want to.
Anyways, I'm currently awaiting another assessment on Monday, and she has realised how sucidal and un-stable I am, so I'm hoping she'll put me somewhere. She currently thinks I have BPD, Bipolar, and complex needs. She basically said "Rebecca, you're very ill".
I'm hoping I get help soon. Also, I'm currently on Citalopram(sp?), and I find I'm more suicidal and self harming. I also find my sleep is up and down, I think more, and I'm constantly tired, could this be the meds?
Thank you.
x
thank you, Lily, for saving mummy's life*.
You are my one and only, you can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight, and you'll be alright.
I was on citalpram a while ago and the doctor put me on diazapam for 2 weeks to go alongside it to help with the effects, i cant remember if it helped because it was 2/3 years ago.
I hope you get the help you need, am here if you ever need to talk about things. sending hugs x x
i found i had problems with citalopram. try Mitazapine.
I would be careful of advice like this - as much as I am glad Mitazapine has been helpful for you Chezio, Rebecca you might find something else works better for you. Medication is confusing like that, it works well for some and not for others. But once you find what works for you, it's SO worth it, so don't give up
It might be worth having the medication reviewed with whoever prescribed them if you're feeling so unwell right now.
Good luck for your assessment on Monday, I hope you get the help you need
xx
The overdose is possibly still coming out of your system, and it may be causing you not functioning properly.
May be your OCD is taking a turn for the worse and that's why you're doing things you feel compelled to do more as the OCD may be in overdrive? May be from the distress or anything really.
How did the assessment go? It was yesterday, right?
Try not to focus on the labels she thinks you may possibly have, focus on the symptoms and treating the symptoms because a label is just something professionals can use to treat you better. The symptoms are what matters.
As you know, me and you have many problems in common, but you've always told me my labels aren't me, y'no? So if you happen to feel like me, in that the labels are who you are, define you, or there's no hope, this isn't true.
You may be ill at the moment, but you can get these symptoms to a better place and you yourself in a better place.
Is the assessment to figure out what's happening for you, and to possibly decide if anything that's suspected you do have is the case, and how to help you, or... is it something else? If it was yesterday, do tell us how it went if you feel able to.
Regarding certain things you've just text me about, that may be causing you further stress which won't help anything.
I really hope they give you the help you clearly need, and deserve.
The meds may be causing your sleeping problems and feeling tired(as sleeping problems can cause tiredness anyway), or it may be because you're under so much stress right now so you're run down, or both, could be anything really.
I hope they change your meds and you find something that helps you, but also remember all sorts of therapy options is something that is needed too in treatment, pills can only do so much.
You say " she has realised how sucidal and un-stable I am, so I'm hoping she'll put me somewhere", do you mean you are hoping she will admit you to a psych unit?
Because that's usually a last option they'd do, they'll try to help you in the community and as an outpatient, my psych today said despite how I'm feeling(extremely suicidal, self harming spiralling out of control, I won't go on and on here about me) that he is going to try to avoid inpatient, and apparently, it may not even be that helpful, he said you're more likely to commit suicide the first week you come out. He also said that in hospital you may also get worse, too. And you could end up managing to get blades, or attempting suicide in there. All sorts.
Hospital may be an option but give other things a go, too, first.
Trial and error, really.
There's many options and treaments out there, discuss them through and go from there maybe?
Inpatient is usually an option they'll choose when all other things have not worked, or if you are in extreme danger and they think you need to be somewhere for a little bit to keep you safe and get things a bit more stable(professionals mostly don't like to keep someone in hospital for such a long time as it can make things worse).
I am glad she has realized though, how badly you are struggling, and I do hope you get proper help and that you do also cooperate with them and also communicate truthfully with them.
