Hellos (: I'm sorry I'm not very known around this sight, I'm not a huge fan of technology (weird,right?) but anyway, I've unfortunately been self harming for about 2 years, and although I've occasionally had a month or two free from it,I always relapse back into cutting. I recently started doing it again, but this time I really don't see a reason to stop. See, I cut on my hip and thigh so no one can see, and since it's not near any major veins or arteries I never have the fear that I'm going to go to far. I really don't see any disadvantages to it, as weird as it seems O: it releaves all my stress and clears my mind of all the chaos and negativity that gets to me. And another thing I realized is that my hips don't scar as bad as the other parts of my body do (I'm guessing it's because it rubs up against my clothes when I walk, maybe?) so I don't have so much remorse over scars. But that doesn't mean I have my bad days, when I break down and cry because of the damage I have caused to my body--but still I think the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. Only a select few know about what I do, and they could care less. So then why even try to stop again? I know I must sound crazy /: does anyone have any opinions or advice for me? It's not exactly support I need, but, I really don't know. Anyhow, thanks for reading (: and to anyone who replies thanks bunches!!! Xoxoxoxoxo
My counsellor has actually told me..."if it doesn't disrupt your ability to function than it is not a problem. As soon as it affects, work, relationships or your own self then it needs to stop." I think that maybe she said that knowing that deep down I know its not okay and it calling my bluff, but whenever I mention not wanting to stop thats sort of what she says. Not that this helps you at all..lol just wanted to share my thoughts on this subject
I do know of friends who care whom i would hurt whenever i SI, because it really hurts them to see me hurting myself.
You might want to think of why you started SI-ing in the 1st place.
Is it a way to cope? If yes, then find other substitutes to do so, cos SI isnt exactly the best way.
I know how it might seem beneficial, with feel of it and all, but as i looked back to see how far i've come, i start regretting. And the scars would be there to remind you of what you did forever, even though they might fade with time, they'll still be there.
It might help if you ask yourself, did you ever feel guilty after cutting?
Guilt only comes when you feel that you've done something wrong, and it guilt really gets into your life, you can considering stopping.
Just my 2-cents worth of thoughts i guess, i myself am in the process of trying to stop, and have failed numerous times, but i'm still trying really hard.
-hugs- Either way, when you feel that you're ready, you would want to stop i think. No point letting SI rule your life forever ya? (:
perhaps you could veiw it as an attempt to try out some different ways of coping, because in general, the more different options (hopefully positive) you have, the more different ways you can handle events and emotions...
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
My counsellor has actually told me..."if it doesn't disrupt your ability to function than it is not a problem. As soon as it affects, work, relationships or your own self then it needs to stop." I think that maybe she said that knowing that deep down I know its not okay and it calling my bluff, but whenever I mention not wanting to stop thats sort of what she says. Not that this helps you at all..lol just wanted to share my thoughts on this subject
I like this. ^ And I also agree that if you do feel guilty about it at any point, then it is affecting you and probably isn't the best way to be coping. My guilt is the big thing that bothers me about my own SI, but otherwise I feel very similarly about it as you do. I guess you could always be doing worse, but you could be doing better too. It wouldn't hurt to try out some other coping techniques too. I've tried running, listening to music, art, singing, and journaling - and those have worked the best for me so far.
*Hugs* <3
"It's not a dream anymore. It's worth fighting for."
"Well, if it's not real you can't hold it in your hands
You can't feel it with your heart
And I won't believe it.
But if it's true
You can see it with your eyes
Oh, even in the dark
And that's where I want to be, yeah" - Paramore
And I also agree that if you do feel guilty about it at any point, then it is affecting you and probably isn't the best way to be coping. My guilt is the big thing that bothers me about my own SI, but otherwise I feel very similarly about it as you do. I guess you could always be doing worse, but you could be doing better too. It wouldn't hurt to try out some other coping techniques too. I've tried running, listening to music, art, singing, and journaling - and those have worked the best for me so far.
