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positive
After all the **** that i've put myself through lately I realise it has to stop. I am making myself small, achievable tasks I need to fulfill every day I am here in London. I have realised I am not ready to go back to Edinburgh. I need to get well if N and I have a chance and I need to get better for myself or I will never leave this 'place' of despair and self destruction. This week I have been doing a detox diet with my sis- no bread, or dairy, lots of fruit. It may seem silly for someone with eating problems to do this but actually I am eating more than before, I'm not fasting, I feel 'safe' because I know everything I am eating is good for me. I look healthier. I also got my eyebrows threaded- I don't really go in for cosmetic stuff but I felt like a non-drastic change would be good. The detox ends on Friday so my tasks for the week to follow are:
1) Eat properly but in a way and amount that I am comfortable with. Refuse snacks if they will make me guilty but don't deny myself food when I am hungry.
2) drink at least 3 glasses of water a day and one of fruit juice. DO NOT obsessively count the calories in fruit/juice.
3) Exercise. Today I took my little sis to the park for an hour and a bit. It was healthy and fun and made us both smile. I am less anxious here, so I should use that to my advantage.
4) Write something. A Haiku, a poem, a paragraph, even one creative line. But write something.
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