I haven't been around much lately because, well. I'm really well. But I've been poking around ryl still :)
Anyway, I'm seeing my psychiatrist after a long break and I am wondering if I should ask her what she thinks my diagnosis is.
I am curious, as past psychiatrists have labelled me with many things, including borderline despite my not fitting the criteria. The more I study the more I realise how wrong this is, and the more worried I get about my future being plagued by this diagnosis.
I was able to finally accept with old psychiatrists that it would never change, they wouldn't listen to me. But I feel she is listening to me even though it has been brief.
My question is: should I bring it up? Or am I going to be seen as obsessive or in some way "fixated" on a diagnosis? I feel I'm able to shrug it off if she tells me I have it, but I want to know her opinion.
I'm interested in what you think, if I should try and find out or just let it rest, accept that dogging label will be over my head because of hurting myself 3+ years ago now.
Thanks for reading,
Aimee x
(To clarify, I have nothing against "borderline" itself when correctly applied, but I feel it's a grossly overused clinical diagnosis of the-too-hard-basket sort. And if my diagnosis' are going to be something that gets discussed among people, I want it to be an accurate representation of me, right now it is not. If they can explain how I meet the criteria I'd let it apply).
I think you should raise it - it will be on your medical notes and you may need to put it on Occ Health questionnaires etc in the future. You feel that she listens, so you can tell her that if she thinks it is correct then of course it should stand, but if not, then not. What do you think is the correct diagnosis?
I've also been diagnosed with Dysthymia and, in the past, an eating disorder. I've recovered from that to a reasonable point now... so to answer your original question - Dysthymia (chronic 'moderate' depression). Which is well treated at the moment (am recovered from).
I acknowledge I had a maladaptive way of coping by using self harm, but I don't believe the rest of the personality characteristics/behaviours match me, the instability of relationships and sense of self, intense fear of abandonment etc.
I would ask. I think if something is written in your medical records that isn't representative of your current mental health then it needs adressing. i know some will say that it doesn't matter what the label is and that the only important thing is that the symptoms are treated successfully but i disagree. It seems to me that labels are very important in the field of mental illness and they can affect the way that you are treated (both literally (meds, therapy, admissions, etc) and also by the way that professionals involved in your care treat you.
A diagnosis is useful if it gets you treatment you need - otherwise it's just an inaccurate label and can undermine you. I'd list the reasons you think it's inaccurate and what you think would be accurate. Hopefully she'll realise that, and apprreciate your self-awareness.
I think you should raise it. It's the right place to do so and it might put your mind at rest. My psych & I have talked about diagnosis even though neither of us care for it much. x
i think you have a right to know. Ask her, she should be able to tell you what is on your medical record, and hopefully, unless she feels it damaging, tell you what they think your diagnosis may be. They may not tell you though, for fear of it affecting the diagnosis/changing your behaviour/upsetting you etc, but then, if they're working on it, let them.
otherwise, you're entitled to know it all, you can even request a copy of your medical record.
I saw her today and it went really well! She explained it all and how personality disorders are defense mechanisms for coping on stressful times, and that when I was younger it was a hair trigger that would set it. off. But now I am better. Long story short, we agreed I no longer have the symptoms and we got very excited :)
I told her I was concerned about the diagnosis following me and she said I shouldn't worry about that, that any clinicians would see that. I am skeptical but relieved and will no longer consider myself borderline.
I feel much better now, she also said things about me not being in a box too and I really liked that :) And that I no longer show any symptoms of depression/anxiety which was reassuring too.
~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P Bitter Angel is my Mitten Animad is my Top Trump All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P
You've done so well to come so far! Must've been a lot of hard work, and a tiring journey, but i'm glad you've made it and now you can be a happy bear! :) x