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possible triggers...I dunno
Not been here for so long. Sometimes Im safer if I stay away. As it is, I have not read anything on here. Is that bad of me?
I dont know what Im doing anymore. I'm trying hard to wnjoy things and look forwards but theres so much dragging me back. "get over it" I was told, by someone who had apparently been through simillar things. Yeouch. I wish I found it as easy as them.
Its so easy to think that I came out unscathed. But then I look at my body, covered in scars and the recent frsh cuts, and I know it ust have. But how? Why?
Do people know theres something wrong with me? Doctors prescribe anti-depressants and psychologists and psychiatrists tell me theres nothing THEY can do to help as I dont fit there criteria. My head is pretty much screwed ont he right way. There have been hiccups in the past but other than the self harm I'm a good person.
I became an Avon rep, the only thing a full time Mum can realistically do around here. Thought it would get me otu and about,t alking and integrating with the community. Customers talk when I'm on their doorstep but blank me in the street. I am just an Avon lady to them.
I frequent the same parent and toddler groups with my 1 year old, even though I've been there for well over a year I feel lost. Who do I talk to? What do I say?
Hubby has had a bad time with his meds recently. Just getting back on track and I dont have time to feel like this. I'm not allowed to be 'out of sorts'. With a family of 5 to clean up after, cook for and organise. I'm worn out. So worn down.
The doc has upped my Citalopram to the max of 60mg. They tried me on all sorts of medicines but bounced me to this because of the 'practice budget'. They want all depressed patients to be on Citalopram for this very reason.
I dont know what I need. I dont know what to do with myself anyore. I'm not suicidal. I'm just quite blank. Even the recent cutting caused no emotional reaction within me. I had to sneak time to do that where I was alone and because it ate into my sleep-time I woke up tired the next day.
Im not a selfish person, I'm really not. But I havnt had time 'off' in over 2 years and I'm tired :(
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