Is this classed as alcohol dependence?

[Poppet6]

I'm not usually a big drinker, apart from the odd social occasion and Christmas.

I suffer from really bad anxiety and I have found that a few drinks before facing a stressful or anxiety provoking situation really helps to calm my nerves and give me more confidence. I don't like the taste of alcohol and feel like I use it as more of a 'medicine' than for enjoyment purposes.

I don't drink apart from when i'm due to leave the house for a stressful event. So maybe a few times a week.

I have mentioned this to my CPN (I can only attend my appointments with her after a few) She doesn't seem too concerned and keeps saying "It would be lovely if you could come sober next week". She doesn't discourage me from drinking or make a big deal out of it.

I don't crave alcohol at all so I don't think I have an addiction.

[Busby]

Hi, I think you have to be careful about the reasons you drink alcohol, at the moment it sounds like you are using it as a self medication to help you deal with stressful situations. The danger is you may start to find more and more situations that you feel alcohol will help you. I was told by my CPN that alcohol actually causes more anxiety in the long term, which is the reason we so often reach for it and get stuck in a cycle.

What do you think would happen if you did not use alcohol before attending a appointment?

My psychologist told me that the way to over come anxiety is through habituation, continually exposing ourselves to a situation in stages until it is no longer anxiety provoking.

Do you think you would be able to reduce the amount of alcohol consumed before appointments gradually till you are able to attend them sober?

I know that some may not agree, but we are not always taken as seriously as we should be when we are under the influence ( even though I understand that sometimes we feel the only way to communicate is through the aid of alcohol). It's something worth considering.

Its just my opinion, but I think if we use alcohol in ways other than socially, or rarely, then it may become a problem.

xx

[Poppet6]

I think if I try to attend my appointment without alcohol I will retch and be sick and then if I manage to leave the front door I would freeze and panic half way there with nobody to help me. It's like a massive fear I have, leaving my house and getting stuck half way and having a panic attack.

I know I need to kick the habit because I don't think my CPN does take me seriously, she said she isn't going to bother to get to know me until I can turn up sober because there's no point in getting to know a drunk person.

I'm also very quiet and shy and I find it extremely hard to talk to people, when my CPN used to visit me at my house I was sober and I barely said a word to her, it was embarassing, I just clammed up. I feel like when I have the alcohol I can at least express myself and speak to her, I feel like if I went and didn't and speak it would be a complete waste of time.

[Busby]

Have you thought about going on a anxiety management course? I attended one that lasted about 10 weeks or so, and was surprised at how effective it was. I got a referral through my CPN , but I think doctors/GP's can also refer. Alot of it was based around CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), and it was surprisingly effective (although not a magical cure, it took alot of engagement with the theory and practising). If you are not familiar with CBT you can Google "MoodGym" and find a online program you can do at your own pace (sorry, I dont know the link to it).

I understand that shyness and anxiety can interfere with relaying information to the professionals. I have similar problems. Do you think making notes inbetween appointments with your CPN and other professionals about issues you would like to talk about could help you? I use to email my CPN on a regular basis about stuff that was going on with me because I could never tell them in person ( I'd get tongue tied, and forget most stuff), so inbetween appointments, I drafted emails/letters and would forward them to him before my appointment, so he would be able to initiate the conversations around issues I was facing.

[Poppet6]

I am due to see my CPN on Wednesday afternoon, no doubt I will have to have my usual few drinks beforehand, I will ask her about the possibilty of going on an anxiety management course, I've never heard of them before.

I used to post my CPN a letter a few days before my appointment which detailed what had been happening and how i'd been feeling, I stopped this a few weeks ago because she never raised any issues with my from my letters and when I asked her things that were in the letter she looked blank. I don't think she was bothering to read or remember them. She never encouraged me to write them so I guess she didn't want me to.

Sometimes if something big happens I text her but to be honest I never get much response.

[Sigma]

Has she ever discussed learning how to manage anxiety with you? It sounds as if she should have! Have you had a full assessment?

[Poppet6]

She is well aware that I suffer from very bad anxiety, she also knows that I drink alcohol to come to my appointments with her. She has known this for 3 months and to date has done nothing. I thought she would have tried to help me, but no, I get the same response everytime "It would be good if you could try and come sober next week". I feel trapped.

I've had full assessments, they always come back the same, BPD, social phobia, OCD's and general anxiety disorder.

[Busby]

It's just a suggestion, but have you thought of taking the "driving seat" and asked her for help to overcome some of these issues? My CPN didn't use to take much notice of my alcohol use either for example, till I told her that i thought it was becoming a issue, and only then did she start making referrals to the dual diagnosis team and psychologist.

*hugs*

[Poppet6]

I'm seeing her tomorrow so I could tell her I feel like it's becoming a problem, I feel a bit bad saying that because it's like admitting I have a problem with alcohol, which kind of upsets me. I will still give it a try though, worst she can do is totally ignore it. I've never really directly asked for her help with things, only ever hinted because i'm a wuss lol.

*hugs*

[Sigma]

try the more direct approach - if she doesn't come up with some suggestions then ask for a change of CPN. She should be discussing with you how to tackle these difficulties. OK, if you're drunk every session then she should be getting you to talk about what could help you meet without alcohol