Struggling to carry on.

misspedantic945 · 13-09-2011, 08:18 PM

Everyday is a struggle to live. I have been suicidal and depressed ever since I was 9, and everyday I have to fight with myself just to live another day. I got put on antidepressants about 2 months ago, and have been diagnosed with social anxiety, but it's not helping.

I stopped self-harming for 2 years, but because of personal problems I have now started again, which makes it harder to stop myself from going to the extreme of taking my life. I know it would destroy my friends and family, but each day keeps on getting darker and darker and I don't see any way out of it.

I hate talking to my friends about it because I don't want to put my problems on them, but it's getting even more difficult to see myself getting out of this darkness, and I don't know what to do. :(

PassedExpectations · 13-09-2011, 11:12 PM

getting diagnosed doesn't actually help much unless you do something about it, start trying to make things better. i diagnosis is sort of like getting a map... rather then knowing that you're somewhere in europe, you know that you're in england, maybe even what town you're in. and you can start working from there... it gives you a starting place and lets you see the territory, but you've still got to get yourself to wherever you want to be

sorry that was really long-winded, i meant it to be shorter.

with social anxiety, ultimately, the way to get rid of it is to go out and do things despite it. if you do that many many times, you'll learn not to be afraid anymore. you start at the things that are easier to do, and keep pushing just past the limit of your comfort zone until it stretches to include whatever you were doing. and then you start stretching it even bigger.....

lonely_hope · 14-09-2011, 08:35 AM

I'm sorry you're struggling so much :/ I'm a bit short on words right now, but, I really hope you're alright. You can make it through. It's wonderful you were able to stop for two years- I'm sure you'll be able to make it for many more while you're trying to recover. Talking to friends can be a bit difficult, but, do you think it would help? If they're supportive and whatnot, I'm sure they won't mind helping you out a bit.

I hope you feel better... wish I had some better words to say that might help. Don't hesitate to send a PM if you need to talk about anything. Keep strong *hugs*

Cedrus · 14-09-2011, 11:17 AM

I don't have many words of advice but I wanted to let you know that I read. I have issues with anxiety and I know how difficult and draining it can be.

Can you go back to the professional who prescribed the meds and ask for a bit more support? It sounds like you need it. Things can get better, I hope that there will come a time soon when you can see that.

Hang on in there.