Contains sexual abuse - Points from a book

[beautiful disgrace]

[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']I’m reading a book about sexual abuse and two things have been pointed out that I am having a really hard time with A. that some planning went into my abuser abusing me and B. that it is normal to feel enjoyment and/or even have an organism when being sexually abused. I feel sick thinking about both of these points. I’ve heard of the last one but the first one I’ve never heard of or thought of. I just want to forget about all this happening and move on but I have so many questions I want answers to that I feel will never be. [/font]

[damagedsurvivor]

Well Ive heard about the first one but not the second.
I do think that my abuser had everything planned out which yes is very disturbing. I mean to actually make all the preparations in advance before actually going through them really makes me sick too.
I do know that the second never happened to me. I was in way too much pain and crying the whole time.

Well you can try to forget and bottle it up inside or you can write it down in as much detail as you can remember and then burn it. Try it and see if that works for you. Just dont burn anything down in the process.