Contains sexual abuse - I'm Getting Ready To Tell My Friends What Happened

JaimeIsBroken · 11-09-2011, 11:29 PM

This is my introduction link.

My dad arranged for the preacher of the church we attend and two friends of mine who attend the same church and go to school with me to meet us at our house after church this evening. They will be here any minute.

Monday (tomorrow) will be my first day back to school since this all happened to me. I am so scared of the questions people will have. I didn't want to try and explain to my friends at school so that's why they are going to be over here tonight.

I'm not sure how to get this conversation started. My friends or people at my church hasn't seen or heard from me since this happened. I have been hiding in my house. The church was concerned when me and dad missed a second Sunday morning service in a row and the preacher called. I guess that's another thing that this meeting will be about. I wanted to heal (I mean my bruises and cuts at least) before I returned to school and church. Unfortunately I will have to where this cast on my arm for several more weeks and the stitches (cut) over my eye won't be gone for several more days.

Can people please wish me luck, because I'm not sure I am going to have the strngth to tell them what happened to me. I know I have to though or I will be bombarded with questions from everyone I see at school tomorrow and church members.

I have to go they just knocked on the door.

offlineforever · 11-09-2011, 11:40 PM

Hey Hun,

You don't have to tell them anything you don't want too... because you have obvious injuries though maybe you could tell them that you where involved in an accident and don't want to talk about it?

damagedsurvivor · 11-09-2011, 11:55 PM

Hey Jaime good luck hun. I know it's hard to tell people something that happened to you. I have only been able to tell a couple of people that I trust that I too went through what you did. I wish I could say it gets easier once you start talking but some times it gets harder. What I've learned from my awful experience is that righting down what happened to you will help. It might even help by telling others. Just remember to only tell the ones who you can truly trust. I know when it happened to me I kept to myself. All the bruises I received were hidden under my baggy clothes so no one asked any questions. I'm sure they knew something was wrong since I was so quiet but never tried to talk to me. I will be hard going back to school but sweetie if you don't then he will win. You need to get back to your life. The more you hide from it the more control he has over you.

Please take it easy Jaime and remember what I said before you can come talk to me anytime just PM me. I can help you get through this. Oh btw what happened to you happened to me twice and by the same guy.

*Sending you lots of warm supportive hugs*

JaimeIsBroken · 12-09-2011, 01:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doctor Colbertface

Hey Hun,

You don't have to tell them anything you don't want too... because you have obvious injuries though maybe you could tell them that you where involved in an accident and don't want to talk about it?

I know I don't have to tell anyone. I wanted to tell them because they have so many questions. I wanted to tell them because they are my friends and if the situation was reversed I would want them to tell me so that I can support them. I had thought about telling them at one time that I was in an accident but I hate to lie and I don't think lying about how I got a broken arm and stitches. I understand what you mean. I won't let myself be pressured into telling people what happened when I'm not ready to.

The random people at school, people who aren't really friends I will tell them I was in an accident. My dad is going to talk with the principal and fill him in on the basics and from there the principal will probably fill in my teachers. That will make it easier I think, I hope.

Quote:

Originally Posted by richshine

Hey Jaime good luck hun. I know it's hard to tell people something that happened to you. I have only been able to tell a couple of people that I trust that I too went through what you did. I wish I could say it gets easier once you start talking but some times it gets harder. What I've learned from my awful experience is that righting down what happened to you will help. It might even help by telling others. Just remember to only tell the ones who you can truly trust. I know when it happened to me I kept to myself. All the bruises I received were hidden under my baggy clothes so no one asked any questions. I'm sure they knew something was wrong since I was so quiet but never tried to talk to me. I will be hard going back to school but sweetie if you don't then he will win. You need to get back to your life. The more you hide from it the more control he has over you.

Please take it easy Jaime and remember what I said before you can come talk to me anytime just PM me. I can help you get through this. Oh btw what happened to you happened to me twice and by the same guy.

*Sending you lots of warm supportive hugs*

I'm going back to school. I know I need to. I know I will be scared but I will be fine. My 2 best friends who also go to school with me know what happened now. They just left to go home a few minutes ago. They will be there with me at school and they will help me.

I am sorry you were hurt too.

Thanks to all for the comments and concern. It's time for me to try and get some sleep, its been a tiring day. Besides Ihave to be up at 6 am for school and after school I am going to see a psychiatrist.

damagedsurvivor · 12-09-2011, 04:05 AM

Wow I am so proud of you fro telling your best friends and that's great that they will be there to get you through school. I really wish I had that when it happened to me but I just didn't want to exist and I was completely numb.

I hope you are able to sleep after all this. Good luck tomorrow in school and at your therapy session. And thanks like we both said to each other no one should ever have to go through this but I'm glad you don't have to do this alone and that the one who hurt you got in trouble.

Keep me posted and if you ever need anything I'm just a PM away.

Good luck again sweetie and again I'm really proud of you!

JaimeIsBroken · 12-09-2011, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by richshine

Wow I am so proud of you fro telling your best friends and that's great that they will be there to get you through school. I really wish I had that when it happened to me but I just didn't want to exist and I was completely numb.

I hope you are able to sleep after all this. Good luck tomorrow in school and at your therapy session. And thanks like we both said to each other no one should ever have to go through this but I'm glad you don't have to do this alone and that the one who hurt you got in trouble.

Keep me posted and if you ever need anything I'm just a PM away.

Good luck again sweetie and again I'm really proud of you!

Thanks for being proud.

I wish I felt numb, anything would be better then this. I couldn't sleep last night. Maybe an hour is all. I kept feeling him when I lay down so I kept having to sit strait up.

I have about 1 1/2 hrs left of school and then off to see the psychiatrist. My principal knows the gist of what happened and so do my teachers. It feels like everyone in the world knows. They are trying to decide what to do with the guy but he hasn't been back to school. They don't know why but I am glad.

People keep asking me what happened to me and as of right now everyone who knows the truth is keeping it to themselves. I just found out that guys cousin also goes to school with me. My friends pointed her out to me. I saw his cousin looking at me several times in the hallways. I just know she's going to start some sort of rumor. My teachers keep wanting to console me. I just want to scream. Come on 2:20.

damagedsurvivor · 12-09-2011, 07:00 PM

Awww I know you do hun. It's so much easier to feel numb than to actually feel. Okay sorry you didnt sleep but thats to be expected until things get straightened out with that guy. I really hope he gets whats coming to him. So many who have been through never even get this far as you have so this is a good sign. Hopefully they will make the guy go some place else to finish school or maybe even school him at home. All I know is bringing him back to your school would be the wrong decision.

If it's easier for you then just dont say anything to the ones that are asking. They are only just curious. Some might even want to twist your words and make it your fault, which I hope you know wasnt at all. Is there someone who knows that can walk with you to your classes? It might help you if you did. They would be like your bodyguard or something especially if his cousin wants to start something. Just try to stay positive if you can and focus on getting yourself through school today and to your your therapy which will help you too. Well unless you dont talk. As for your teachers hun let them console you. I know it might feel weird but it will help you recover from this. I know I hated being touched after it happened to me but looking back now I really wish people knew. I dont know how I made it through high school completely alone. Okay now I feel really sad.

If you ever need to talk on a more private setting feel free to PM me. My inbox is always open for you.

Stay strong sweetie you will get through this I PROMISE!

JaimeIsBroken · 12-09-2011, 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by richshine

Wow I am so proud of you fro telling your best friends and that's great that they will be there to get you through school. I really wish I had that when it happened to me but I just didn't want to exist and I was completely numb.

I hope you are able to sleep after all this. Good luck tomorrow in school and at your therapy session. And thanks like we both said to each other no one should ever have to go through this but I'm glad you don't have to do this alone and that the one who hurt you got in trouble.

Keep me posted and if you ever need anything I'm just a PM away.

Good luck again sweetie and again I'm really proud of you!

Quote:

Originally Posted by richshine

Awww I know you do hun. It's so much easier to feel numb than to actually feel. Okay sorry you didnt sleep but thats to be expected until things get straightened out with that guy. I really hope he gets whats coming to him. So many who have been through never even get this far as you have so this is a good sign. Hopefully they will make the guy go some place else to finish school or maybe even school him at home. All I know is bringing him back to your school would be the wrong decision.

If it's easier for you then just dont say anything to the ones that are asking. They are only just curious. Some might even want to twist your words and make it your fault, which I hope you know wasnt at all. Is there someone who knows that can walk with you to your classes? It might help you if you did. They would be like your bodyguard or something especially if his cousin wants to start something. Just try to stay positive if you can and focus on getting yourself through school today and to your your therapy which will help you too. Well unless you dont talk. As for your teachers hun let them console you. I know it might feel weird but it will help you recover from this. I know I hated being touched after it happened to me but looking back now I really wish people knew. I dont know how I made it through high school completely alone. Okay now I feel really sad.

If you ever need to talk on a more private setting feel free to PM me. My inbox is always open for you.

Stay strong sweetie you will get through this I PROMISE!

I found out why he wasn't at school. The courts told him he wouldn't be allowed in school because he is 18 and all the 14,15,16,and 17 year olds there. I also found out that he had filled out the paperwork to quit school. My principal told me that after school and he reassured me that I have nothing to worry about from that guy or his cousin. His cousin who was looking at me in the hallways wasn't mad at me. Sometime today she went to the principal and told him that she was that guys cousin and that they shouldn't allow him to return to school there. According to the principal his cousin was looking at me because she wanted to come up to me and say that she was sorry for what happened. That kinda blew my mind when I heard about that.

I just got back from the psychiatrists visit. It wasn't what I thought it was going to be like. It was more of a get to know you session. Her name in Tammy she specializes in the treatment of PTSD as a result of sexual assault. She said most of her clients are teens and young adults. She seems nice but also very clinical. I guess that's because she has to sort of keep it emotionless on her part or she will go crazy. We are going to have a meeting every Monday afternoon. Also Fridays if I need them. She doesn't schedule meeting on Fridays, she leaves that day open for extra meetings of her clients if they need one.

I know I should let my teachers console me but I have this overwhelming trapped feeling when people hug me, it's hard to explain. My dad did hug me when he picked me up from school and I hugged him back. It wasn't 100% comfortable but I still almost cried because it felt good at the same time. I didn't really want to let him go but his car was blocking the student/parent pickup line.

I don't walk through the school alone I mean from clas to class alone. My best friend who I have known since I was like 3 was walking with me.

Is it weird that I feel somewhat normal right now? I'm sure it will change, but I will enjoy the normal feeling while it is here.

damagedsurvivor · 12-09-2011, 10:37 PM

Oh wow that's great news sweetie. Now you dont have to be scared to go to school and Im also glad that his cousin doesnt want to make things worse.

I completely understand why it's hard to be hugged and how uncomfortable it feels. Trust me hun Ive been there. It will be hard but hugging will get better when you are ready. I couldn't be touched at all because it reminded me of him and what he did to me. I am glad that your dad did hug you that shows that he really does care for you and if it felt good than thats perfectly okay. Remember its okay to cry thats part of healing too. Also if it felt good then keep hugging him when you can.

Oh good I was worried that you walked alone but since you do have someone with you that makes me feel better.

Actually no its not. We go through stages. So yes enjoy the normal feeling while it lasts. Im sure the anger will show up soon along with all the other stages. But it sounds like you had a really good day. Yes I know your meeting was a get to know you type but next time it will be better I promise.