scared to ring :/

[~ Bittersweet Memories ~]

right, before i start this is not attention seeking as im asking for support before doing something stupid.

i've recently got out of prison (2 weeks ago) and thought i was doing well,even after the highs of getting out but my moods/mental state have taken a huge dip.
my CPN won't have me on meds which i think is stupid as they help lift my mood and keep me on an even keel.

ever since i've come out of prison i find myself feeling rather hesitant towards my CPN, i feel scared of ringing her when i need to as i feel i can't tell her how im feeling, maybe im just being stupid.
now i feel suicidal, well i felt impulsive this morning when i went out and it seems to have escalated somehow.

anyhow i just want to know if anyone else has ever felt like this....
i know it all sounds a bit pathetic.
anyone got any advice at all?

[Poppet6]

Is there any particular reason why your CPN won't prescribe you any meds?

If you're feeling bad I think you should really try to phone the CPN, were you able to phone her comfortably in the past? Write down what you want to say before you phone her, it should make it easier.

If you don't feel happy phoning her are you able to text her?

Has anything in particular made you feel especially down this morning?

[~ Bittersweet Memories ~]

i don't know,she said i don't need them but i know i do. i was put on anti psychotics in prison and they just totally disagreed with me.

no nothing in particular has made me feel like this, they'd probably only get the crisis team anyway and im not particularly fond of them. so i might just leave it.

i might just chill out in front of the tv with my mutt this afternoon.