im all alone

[littlemermaid]

Im lonely and feel all alone-duh those go together right?

its labor day weekend and im all alone, my friends are all out of town, I never hang out with them but i want to se bad and now I cant.

I slept all day which I know is bad for me and now im watching "thin" which i also know is just a bad idea but im doing it anyway? im alone and I want to die. I want to see my therapist and i want to talk to her now. I want to go back to the intensive outpatient program i was in. non of that is possible. I have a no contact policy with my therapist outside of our sessions. she just cut me down to seeing her once a week instead of twice. I dont want to do that but I dont have a choice. I just want to disapear right now. I want to cut, not eat and just be done.

im home alone for the weekend. I moved back home to my moms house, her and my stepdad are out having fun for the weekend on a trip.

I want my therapist I want a hug and I want to be comforted.

[PassedExpectations]

it sounds like your therapist thinks that you're ready to start being more independent. thats something that has to happen eventually. try and have some confidence in her assesment that you're ready for this. its going to be one of these things where you don't think you can do it until you do. the only way to learn that you have the strength and ability to get through is to give it your best shot.

do you have a pet, stuffed animal, pillow, or blanket that you coud hug? it isnt't eh same, but it can help. and try and pick a different movie, one that isn't triggering, and that has happy memories attached possibly.

[silent_scars11]

I feel your pain, I too am very dependent on my therapists and tend to reach out to them far more often than I should (which I'm never really supposed to do...) I understand how it is to want people around you to comfort you, and in a way it's a very natural human reaction, but I guess we have to learn to be more independent too. It's probably harder than usual for you now because most people have the impression that they're "supposed to" get together with all their family and friends on a holiday weekend, so if they don't/can't, they may feel abnormal and especially lonely. I'm sure you aren't alone in this. But really, it's just a regular weekend plus one extra day. Just because you can't see them this weekend doesn't mean you can't see them another weekend.

I know it's hard when you're first starting to be independent and reducing the number of times you go to therapy, but things will get better. I agree with PassedExpectations' suggestions - hugging my dog or a stuffed animal always helps at least a bit, and definitely a different movie would probably be better at the moment. A comedy would probably be the best - even at my saddest, stupidly funny things can usually at least crack a smile.

You can do this, there's only one more day left this weekend and I know you can get through it all right

*Hugs* <3

[arewethereyet]

If you know that watching that show is a bad idea (that's great you are consciously acknowleging that) then stop watching it! You will feel better, not for not watching it, but for taking the step to help yourself! It is very empowering to realize that you really DO have CONTROL of your own happyness!