Coming out to my brother.

[Snow White.]

Hello all,

So I've 'come out' to a handful of friends, and my mother, as liking girls. All the reactions have been ace so far, which is really affirming. It's helping me really get in touch with who I actually am, instead of lying to myself and others or hiding myself away, and it's nice to be able to be honest.

However, my brother does not know. I really want to tell him as he is probably the most important person in my life. And furthermore I'm worried he'll find out from someone else and not me.

But I don't know how to approach it. I've only ever told one male aaand it didn't go down wonders. He's 22 and I'm just not sure what to say, how to say it, when to say it. It makes me so nervous I've not been really good at telling anyone, it usually just blurts out and then I get embarrassed.

I feel now would be a good time as I'm starting to get on dating sites so I'm really letting myself be me, and it's so exciting!

If anyone has any advice or anything, I'd really appreciate it.
Thanks xx

[Sleepless123]

Hi ya i just wanted to say i think your really brave and well done for being you and its great your managing to start telling people about who you really are!It must feel fab to finally feel able to use the dating sites and be who you actually are too in life and i think thats a brilliant achievement well done.

Re your brother im afraid i dont have much advice.i dont have much interest in relationships [either with men or women] at the moment and have never been in your situation or similar so probably far from the best person to advise.i think its really great your considering telling him though and i know your worried understandably but just want to say that no matter how you tell him even if he is shocked at the start im sure he will want to accept you for who you are when he has had a little time to think about it and that he will be glad you told him.

What are you expecting his reaction to be ie do you think he will be ok with it in the first instance or react badly?

Good luck with this and sorry for the rubbish reply.Hope others can help more but wanted to let you know i reade, think your really brave, pleased your doing this and just to say im thinking of you and send my love.

Much love.

xx xx

[akita]

Silly question but does your dad know? You might ask for support in telling your brother from your parents? How they took it and how he will take it? The reaction from telling them and friends? Ask friends for advice on telling him too? Good luck in telling him.

<3

[xgx]

Hey there

To be honest i wouldnt be surprised if your brother doesn't already know when i told most of my family i was gay they basically said to me oh yeah i kinda guessed.
I would just sit him down and say that he's the most improtant person in your life that you have something to tell him then just come out with it it might be a shock to him at first but if he loves you he will come round,You could always test the water first if your not sure how he feels about gay/bi people but like i say if he loves you and hes not ok with the idea he will come round to it.

Take care g x

[Snow White.]

Thank you all :)

Kath that was a really heplful reply, thank you. I guess I expect him to be awkwardly silent for a bit, but overall accepting. He has a gay friend and (aside from calling him "his gay friend") treats him with respect and doesn't ever talk badly about the fact.

Andrea, my Dad doesn't know but my Mum does, she might be a good person to talk to about it cause they live together. Good idea.

& Thanks g :) I like the idea of telling him how important he is first, I think that'll help cause he'll know how important his reaction is to me. Thanks :) He probably does know, I have an awkward history of dating, well, boys who turned out to be gay!

[xgx]

i wouldnt worry about him calling his mate 'his gay mate' my sister knows im gay and throws all the gay/lesbian jokes at me but its all in good fun.

your brother sounds like a very down to earth person so i really dont think he will turn his back on you

G x

[Intaytia]

Well done to you for telling those you have and making the first steps to really being you - that's wonderful. Can't really add much to what's been said, just want to wish you luck :)

[squirrelspit]

YOURE A LESBIAN?


How you doin'??? ;)

[Snow White.]

:D

hehehehe!

[Mrs Sam]

Just wanted to send you good wishes. I have no advice except I find talking about stuff easier when there's another focus too. So like being out somewhere or driving or something together. Least then if there's an awkward Monent there is a distraction!