has anyone had counselling and found it difficult to mention self-harm because you feel that you've come to an age that you shouldn't be doing it anymore?
It seems the health care professionals don't ask about it either in the initial assesment because maybe it is not meant to be an issue for people beyond their teenage years. I've been asked when i was younger and now i have noticed that it isn't such a big deal anymore.
I remember not telling my GP when i first told him about feeling ill. I waited a month before i said i self harmed. he couldnt understand why i didnt say anything and was lovely about it. My cpn was a little shocked due to my age.
Remember SH is primarily a teen thing in the eyes of most. This could be one reason for it not being mentioned. Secondly as an adult we are more responsible for out actions and seen to be able to take care of ourselves and also have no one to answer for. Therefore they perhaps wont be as thorough in asking as there is no one that needs to know (parents etc).
Finally, counselling is for you and no one else. Its up to you what you tell them. If you want to tell them then do so. If not then dont.
~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P Bitter Angel is my Mitten Animad is my Top Trump All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P
I recently had some blood tests and they ended up taking it from my wrist so i had to take off my watch. I have some obvious self harm scars under there (like really obvious) and yet the nurse said "my don't you mark easily, look at what your watch has done to your wrist". I just said "yeahhhhh". I think as you get older, unfortunately it is information you have to volunteer rather than being asked, although in a way i'd rather that aspect be in my control.
Yeah, I hear ya. Although I know it would've been better for me never to start self-harming at all, I almost wish if I did indeed have to start at some point, that it had been when I was a bit younger, and there were more resources out there completely willing to help. Like a couple of the places I've looked at are specifically for teens, and my one therapist actually recommended I definitely don't go to this certain one because I'd feel out of place. I mean, it's a good thing she mentioned that, but it just kind of reinforced the notion that people beyond their teenage years shouldn't self-harm (not saying I believe that, however).
Like when I went to the doctor recently and they had to take my pulse...I almost wanted them to ask if I was okay or something. But nothing. So I understand where you're coming from. How old(ish) are you, if you don't mind my asking? Although I'm still young, the whole being over 18 thing makes me ineligible for treatment programs I may have sought out otherwise.
I guess for adults theres no set protocol for self harm like there is for children. I would take the lead on instructing the Gps to find you some help with it. Its a sympton, however and therefore unless its carrying a health risk theres little a GP can do except refer you to a psych for evaluation.
~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P Bitter Angel is my Mitten Animad is my Top Trump All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P
I find this a problem as well when it comes to getting help. I have been injury free for over a year now but have been looking for a support group locally to help maintain this great start. The ONLY local support group was specifically for teenagers, I have to agree with Ninja about people's perception of adults being seen as more capable of looking after themselves, but that attitude does seem to treat SI as a 'phase'. Perhaps I should look into starting my own group.
Be safe all
It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection
- The Bhagavad Gita
Hello. Nice to be on board with you very helpfull people. I was in a very bad state 3 weeks ago. Triggered after 7 years, cause:same turbulent relationship. Im 27 and her response was stop being childish, she has no idea how much pain she has caused!
Ninjapenguin, one of your posts has really helped me. The one about not giving importance to the thoughts, the comparison with veldermore in harry potter. Cheers mate.
I wont be going do drs for help, you are my guide. I can beat this, just need to sort my head out. I been free for few days, had a bad trip yesterday and cut, calmed me down thou it is worrying i felt no pain and none today.
Ive never harmed like this before. In a span of 3 weeks i think i got 17 cuts, could it be that part of body is numb and pain sensors non-functional?
I started self harming when I was 24/25 which is over 10 years ago. I sort of remember telling my gp I had cut myself for the first time. It's a bit hazy. I don't think he was too panicked about it but I ended up with a referral to psych.
Oh how little we all knew then how it would escalate and become a humongous issue for me.
I've met all sorts of different attitudes to self harm as an adult, one of the most hurtful was being cut off by a so called friend after she saw the scars on my arms (I was admittedly wearing a short sleeve top, but I don't think I was in any way flaunting my s/harm).
My experience regarding professionals attitudes to my self harm has fortunately been mostly ok and I don't think I have ever been told that it is something that only teenagers do.
I would also like to find support for SH in my area but as I'm 30 there is little for people in my age group. All SH help is aimed at teens. I am so glad I found this vets area.
I'm feeling dangerously close to SH even though I haven't for a number of months .... Sorry just blurted that out there - not sure where to go/what to do, feel a bit angry and trapped.
I`m 46 yrs old , and SH for 15 years , My family just found out this year about the SH Its hard for them to understand me . My doctor and therapist find it different because of my age . Is it that different to SH at my age ?
A positive additude is the way to go , Hope lives !
I started s/h at 37 after my dad died 10 years ago and although its not as bad at present ive just started DBT which is sposed to help addictions s/h BPD, i must be lucky, i dont think anyone has mentioned my age and it being something i should have grown out of since i was well and truly an adult when i started. Tc all xxx
I started sh over 7 yrs ago... and managed to stop 3 yrs ago... untill I slipped up again. IT was a rough time, still is, because I know I will struggle with this forever, no matter how old I am. My Husband simply said, this was a childs game and that I needed to grow up becaue he can't deal with it. I love him to death, and I know he loves me. But I think the majority of the people in the world think with this mentality, therefore as adults who have SH issues, we will always struggle. It will always be a difficult fight for us, because of the stigma attached to SH and the expectations of our age. I just remind myself that they are not me, they do not know, they do not feel what I feel, and emotions are not only for children. We all have them, we all deal, we all struggle.
~I am an angel with broken wings...I cannot fly, only dream...I cannot breath but someday I will sing.~
Gravedigger, when you dig my grave, could you dig it shallow, so I can feel the rain?
just been readingall of your posts on being older with si stuff and I am finding it really really helpful to not be on my own with this stuff- feeling like a bit of a freak here, and my job is to help other people so that doesn't help much with the guilt either. I think the thing is, when you're triggered, you're triggered. age is irrelevant, as you are taken hold of the emotional vortex and off you go - might as well be 3! If I could keep a hold of my adult self then this wouldn't be a problem - but its the child who'se screaming!
hi im 36 and still self harm and i agree people seem to think its just to get attention but i dont harm where its to obvious and i never bring attention to it ,, its something i do to cope and have done since i was 11 it dont matter what age we are its a coping tool for us xxx i once seen a quote that said something like : dont be ashamed of our scars they are proof of how we've coped : that may not be exact but i hope u all get wot i mean xxxx
I am 31 years old and have be cutting for 8 years. It comes and goes and after 6 months I was triggered again. Of course, it came back with a vengence. The best thing I have ever done was letting my psych/therapist know. Fortunetly I have an amazing psych and she completely understands that it is a way of coping but my last therapist wasn't so understanding. I agree that therapy is completely for you, so if you wanna tell them go ahead! Just know that your age doesn't have anything to do with it! Good Luck, you are not alone!!!
