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Contains abuse - family is abusing me for decades
I dont know what to do.Im a 28 yr old female and my biological family abuses me.It will probably take me too long to type but maybe ill organize it SINCE its over 25 yrs of abuse
when i was a little kid till i was about 14 i was beaten every day of my life up to 50 times a day. somedays i was lucky enough to not get beaten or physicaly harmed.
ill write some of the things that happened to me
1) got beaten two times where i became onconsious when my mother was beating me at 8 yrs old
2)i got starved for years as a child. sometmes id go 2 weeks with no meal and only ate what i could steal from the kitchen such as granola bars, juice boxes. to survive. i now in my 20s have mild osteoporosis because of the starvation and drugging
3) my sister tried to light me on fire when she was an adult and i was about 13,i got pushed into a lit stove by my mother
4)beaten with brooms, phones thrown at me, knives thrown at me
5) i got punished for putting band aids on bleeding wounds on my ams because my mother scraped my arms with her nails and dug nails into my arms
6) my mother broke my writst when i was 19
7)they locked me in the bathroom, my other sister had taken a sharp kitchen knife to me many times
8)burning hot water thrown at me
9)death threats to me from my parents
10)my parents would sometimes leave me at school till 10pm or 11pm when i was in middle school and refused to pick me up
11) we had a cat when i was growing up, she was an angel my only friend till i was 22. she would comfort me when id hide somewhere in the house from family members. and my siblings used to abuse the cat infont of me to torment me. take away food, kick her,frieghten,chase around the house with a vacuum, terrorise
id tell them to stop and they wouldnt, sometimes just to terrorise me
12)my family would lock the fridge, not let me in the kitchen or get food. they would carry around keys. i felt faint one day because hadnt eaten that day and i grabbed the keys from my sister after she said no to allowing me any food and she beat me up , slammed my arm into a metal door in order to stop me from getting any food
they all had keys and i want allowed
13) my older sister used to get beaten by my parents and her and i had to fight back physically to defend ourseles. i witnessed her getting hit kicked for no reason other than my parents seemed bored and picked fights with her
and that made her suicidal and self injure, so i had to talk her out of suicide and save her life a few times when i was 11
14)when my mother broke my wrist i couldnt get proper medical treatment and my father wouldnt pay for my medical bills, for a cast because he was insulted that my mother broke my wrist, like how dare i accuse my mother even tho she beat me with a broom and thats when my wrist began hurting me. i took myself alone to the er, they didnt send me an orthapedic dr, big mess and they put the cast on wrong on my arm i had to wait almost 2 weeks to see an orthapedic wrist dr because my family didnt want topay for medical treatment
and the list goes on, many other scary things that happened to me by relatives
had lysol sprayed in my eyes while anothre family member grabbed and beat me, i used to get ganged up on my family members
my parents also didnt raise me i remember from a young age beingleft alone with nannies,housekeeper nannies. and some thing parents do for or teach their kids my older sisters had to do for me such as back to school shopping in 6th grade, take me to dentist,teach me to tie shoes etc and other times.
my father wasnt around and my mother would sleep till around 5pm or sometimes later if i was lucky and walk down the steps with bloodshot eyes looking drunk and going on an angry rampage and start yelling at anyone in her way and become violent sometimes
some of my relatives still believe shes bipolar
also when i was about 20 my mother held a knife to my chest and made jabbing movements with the knife, i thought she was going to kill me so luckily i was able to grab the phone with one arm and called 911 and screamed into the phone cause i was scared.
that got my mother to back away and put the knife back in the drawer
when the police showed up, i dont know what was wrong with me but i told them that nothings going on and everythings ok, so i covered for her even tho she almost killed me. i felt too guilty to tell on them
so i didnt expect to survive to age 10 or 12 . because i knew one time theyd beat me to death, since i thought id die a few times during violence towards me
in recent years my younger sisters become violent to me and she emotionally and verbally abuses me now, makes my days frieghtening
also my parents want to trap me in an abusive situation.
they have an attention wanting disorder called munchausens by proxy and my fathers a psychopath and narcisist too so he can convince people of anything.since i was a small child they liked to tell everyone about how their child is 'sick'. even tho i was born healthy and was very healthy untill my 20s. i dont know why my parents would say im sick since i was healthy and okay like every other kid. i could run, jump ,skip, etc, the only thing was that my pediatrician and some teachers said i was a shy kid.
but kids are shy, go through weird phazes. dosnt mean you have a pity story to tell everyone or a sick child
they used to tell every neighbor, every relative who never saw me often and didnt know me well, every grocery delivery boy,the local baker, the house electrician stories of how their dear child is sick. pity stories where you could tell they wanted sympathy
i had a dream when i was about 10 that my parents took me and dumped me off at an orphanage. little did i know it meant something because when i was 14 my father started putting me away in psychiatric hospitals for no reason even tho my pediatrician, friends,and insurance company who met with me didnt agree that i should go there.
anyways my father lied to like over 100 psychiatrists, hospital administrators, i dont have the exact number. at each place he said a different story listing diferent symptoms.my father is fascinated by psychiatry and used to want to be a psychiatrist so he knew alot of things in the dsm book and what to say
and it was private places he was paying for me to live at untill i was 18 because my insurance wouldnt pay for me to be in patient hospitalized because they said i dont suffer from mental illness symptoms
a few times people would stop and say why is she here?when i was in those places. then theyd refuse to take me home and each time make me wait 4-6 more months at hospitals for me to be on a waiting list for a boarding school
anyways whatever it is im doomed because before i was 18 my father got a record built up for me saying i have over 40 mental diagnoseses.which these records will follow me for life. but the truth is i dont have one mental problem. im not mentally ill, at most im traumatized and put through a hard victimized life (used to have some ptsd things going on like nightmares but any normal person would have that after being victimized)
and i have low self esteem so its affected me socially through half of my life
i dont get along with my family at all. ocassionally ill be friendly with one or 2 siblings. i even had to raise my little sister the last 2 years of highschool for her because my parents decided to not be home ever or be responsible for her. i helped her get into college, study, do homework, help her during emergency,make sure she had dinner, wake her up for school. because my parents neglected her
my father is very controlling to me, he makes threats and told me in my arly 20s that i needed to live at home, bribed me and my older sisters with money by supporting them financilaly till they were 30 and even after
my father still controls my 34 yr old married sister , she has 3 kids and my father chose names for them, he pays for her house and expenses, vacations, bought her husband expensive gifts. and now hes trying to convince her to get a divorce so she can spendmore time with the father who i witnessed be abusive to her when she was a kid
so in order to control me, he went to court against me and made friends with everyone in the court case, friends with the court apointed psychologist . he spoke to the psychogist for 5 months before he met me once for about a half hour, by the time he met me he was told not to listen to me and he wrote down lies about me. he wrote a 4 page evaluation mis quoting me, and writing lies only about me
a relative saw the evalution for court about me and she laughed and said it is nothing like me, that it dosnt describe me at all. it has some pretty strange thing on it that were probably told to him by my father without him checking if it was true
so my original plan to get away from the abuse was to go away to college or get a job/ career and get an apartment out of state or atleast a half hour away from my parents so that they do noti stalk me. i was worried theyd stalk me since they dont want me moving away ever
im 28 now and my father says he dosnt want me getting a job or leaving or socialising so yea if im not moved out now then not ever?
hes racist and yelled at a black girl who was a friend of mine at the time for visiting me at the house.hes yelled at friends of mine who called me and told them not to call back
(my family and i are caucasian) and i dont judge other heritages
anyways my parents never really liked me too much, they were mean to my sisters but they were more mean to me. they also always complained that they wanted a son and no daughters they hoped that id be a boy and i wasnt. they even picked out a boys name for me before i was born.
they tried to stop my older sisters from suceeding in life and having any career, my father broke up the engagement of one of my older sisters because he didnt want her to get married at 23
anyways when i was 24 and trying to recover from an injury my father went to court against me to get adult guardianship of me( to own me)
and since i had an injury and he paid 3 psychologists to lie about me, i was never a patient of theirs.
so they gave him guardianship for life because he told the courts and the law agency thats supposed to defend me that im mildly autistic(aspargors?). but im not autistic. he also told them that im severely mentally ill for life and a threat to society, also very far from true. im not mentally ill or autistic
and no psychologist has told me that im mentally ill or have any other mental disorder.
im still confused about the records my parents got from when i was an underage teenager saying i have 40-45 mental disorders for life. since i was under age they didnt speak to me and instead only talked to my parents
i definately dont have any mental trouble or disorders
so i dont know what to do but, right now for the last 3 years ive had a life threatening, disabling medical problem. and my parents havent done anything to help me. they barely talk to me and they give me money for small things like basic needs , shoes, food, jacket, toiletries
i go to all doctors and hospital emergency room visits by myself. im in alot of physical pain daily and almost died a few times and my parents arent concerned at all. insteads they threaten and put me down, claiming they will ruin my life
one time afew years ago when i could barely walk becase of an injury my sister had to bring me food upstairs becaise i couldnt get down steps
im too sick to go to court to fight against my father, who will do anything to prevent me from being safe or having a productive life.he has alot of money and will spend half of his money to hire lawyers if it means i cannot have any future normal life
im notlegally allowed to leave my parents home even tho im 28 yrs old in the usa. he dosnt allow me to work, he says he dosnt wantme to socialize or date
even if i didnt have my medical problem which he dosnt even know about since he refuses to talk to me if its anything bhesides money or threats or yelling at me
i dont even know what to do,im not strong enough to defeat my parents. i think they would panic if i had a job and was independant
i think because my father failed at life ambitions before i was born so he dosnt want me to be sucessful, and didnt want my older sisters either to have jobs.
if i dont come back home one day my father can call the police and have me arrested from breaking the law
since its against the law for me to do anything they say they dont want me to. such as driving lessons, school etc
and im physically sick and id be too scared to be on my own hiding in some shelter in another state
im not sure what to do. i have to live in fear and without constitution or civil rights of a us citizen, i was born in the usa
all because my father commited perjury and some
"mental health professionals" commited malpractice and perjury too against me
i dont see an end to the torment to me by my father. it was difficult enough convincing him to allow me to go to college classes
i cant go to court to fight because im too sick now and need to focus on my health bt that dosnt mean my father should own me and limit me from doing any few things i can do independantly
i got sick a half a year after the court order was ordererd so it has nothing to do with it
i cant get a free lawyer becase the only legal aid agency that can be assigned to me HATES ME. THERES about 10 lawyers there and the manager spoke to me on the phone and blamed me for my father going to court against me. and they dont want to believe anything i say or be supportive of me or defend me. my father keeps going to court against me to try to have me put away, to get attention so theyre angry about it and blame me cause theyre annoyed
and my father spoke to the law angecy and told them lies so they cant believe me and said they wont help me . the lawyers there believe im autistic and they decided to not defend me and they recomended guardianship for me, even tho they wont even listen to anything i have to say or believe me. they know nothing about me
my father told me no one will believe me or help me BECASE YOUR CRAZY
he wants people to think im mentally disturbed, so that no one will believe me or help me
thats not the issue, im not mentally ill but. i need to get away from my father and have a normal life and a job or maybe go away to college
but i cant prove anything now to any judge because im very sick for 3 yrs almost, with a painful and physically disabling medical problem. so my doctors say i cant work or do most activities
so i have nothing to show for myself, no ivy league degrees or nobel prizes or a resume.
but thats not my fault because im trying to survive a severe medical problem that is very scary
what can i do to get away from my abuser, remove himlegally from me. the only man i should be associated with legally should be my husband and not my elderly father.
but he dosnt even allow me to date, says he wont allow me to marry and im getting older
i dont know where to start but i need someone who will believe me since im the only one here telling the truth. i have proof too
and someone to go instead of me to court to take care of the problem and remove guardianship
yes theres guardianship for adults 18 and over, for mentally disabled people, alzheimers, brain dead patients
and my father and the psychologists, psychiatrists who never saw me , that he paid told the judge that im mentally incapaciatated (autistic,mentally ill and dangerous) so the judge wrote that im mentaly incapacitated
how do i help myself , all while im sick medically and too sick to go to court
or do i just not to anything and sit sick in my parents house and have no life ever?
my parents need to let me get a job, when i get well from my medical issue because ill need money to support myself, roof over my head, feed myself, a retirement savings. they wont always be in the world to give me money
but theyre too controlling to let me get a job
im going to be in my 30s soon. im suffering terribly because of how controlling they are
im intelligent and did well in college,people in school thought i was nice
my parents call me stupid, and mentally retarded and that i have no potential in life. which isnt true
i raised their daughter, also cared for their grandchild many times
and they go and get these court papers to make fun of me about saying im mentally handicapped.
something fishy here. leaving home a 'mentally incapacitated" adult alone to care for their 2,3,4 yr old grandson
so they know theyre lying and they told me they do these controlling things and go to court against me to "get back at me" and so that "no one will believe me" and to "ruin your life"
my grandparents want me to get a career and get married soon. they ask me if i met anyone yet or when im going to get married, to travel with friends. they know im normal. but theyre very old too and cant get around much so they cant help me.
i dont know what the answer is. if i get well from my medical problem, it will still be nearly impossible to fight my father in court, hes a spychopath and will die trying , if it means stopping me from being happy or normal
hes that ambitous against me, controlling
i already dealt with adult protective services and theyre terrible because the only thing they said they can do is put me in a psychiatric hospital to live at for a few months to wait to send me to a living institution for the mentally handicapped. since they saw the past recordsa about me from when i was a teenager and the judge said im autistic. so they wont do anything apropriate for me
and i dont belong living in a facility for autisic and mentally disturbed adults
i think id do well at a college dorm, or dorm for postgrad older students, or a regular apartment on my own or with a roomate, own house whatever. but i dont need supervision
even right now as i type this my "guardian' and his wife are in another country. left me home alone and sick in their house, no one assigned to look after me
do you think the court even cares? they probably knew i wasnt mentally ill and that they lied, were paid to
anyone have any answers for me?
i think if i remove the court order, get a job and sign a lease to go to an apartment would be good. i also need a car
i thinkfighting against my father is imposible
so i dont see anormal life formyself if i cant fight against my fathers lies and control. its like i need an army to protect me and stand up for me
its heartbreaking to know that when i was 6,7 praying that my parents would stop beating me , that when i was a grown up they would pull the same stuff and not let me go from the abuse
i think i need a creative answer. to get myself out of this
sofar people only told me advice to call police, call adult potective service, legal aid, domestic violence shelters. but none of those were able to help me
the domestic violence shelters said they cant help me too, because they said they will have to turn me over to police since its court ordered. theres really no protection there for women who are legally owned by their abusers
but the police will send me to an institution for disturbed people
and they didnt help me or listen to me either
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