how to cope with more people and noise around after quiet and isolation?
For the past 3 weeks I have been alone at home. Also the [somewhat noisy] neighbours have been away for most of it.
I am struggling with the double thing of being relieved my flatmate is back so I feel safer [I was utterly terrified during the riots, though it was ok around here] but also craving the peace and quiet I couldn't enjoy when I was feeling so frightened and hyper-vigilant alone.
Also the kids next door are back, so I feel kind of bombarded from all sides. Thankfully upstairs aren't around.
The thing is, I am in PMS phase, and I find environmental noise even harder to handle and more intrusive. Yes, I have ear plugs, yes I have an mp3 player which I've uploaded white noise onto. But I can't use those when out and about. And I really don't want to shut the world out more than I need to get sleep at night [I've not been sleeping well either.]
How do you cope with the world and people all around when you just want to run away from it all [but you also don't, if that makes any sense!]?
This may or may not be relevant, but it's something I was thinking about earlier...
Today I went out to a cafe, having not been able to leave my house for a few days. It was nice and not too busy, but then they turned their music up - and I felt really stressed, almost panicky. Hyper-sensitive of me.
So I was thinking afterwards about how I could've handled it better and I wondered if I'd made it worse by feeling angry about the noise, and telling myself it "shouldn't" be that loud. Maybe if I'd accepted that was the nature of the situation it would have been easier to tolerate? I think I need to give this a try, although I'm sure it will take practise!
What I'm saying is that maybe fighting against the noise and telling yourself how intrusive it is makes it worse? If you can find a degree of acceptance - that it's natural thing for kids to play/squabble and housemates to walk round/listen to music/whatever it might help.
Not saying this would be easy if you're feeling more angry/irritable than normal though!
I know it's worse because of my PMS. I become totally intolerant, and my senses are heightened all the more.
Upstairs came back, but that actually bothered me less than my flatmate having the TV on pretty loud late, well, late for me, I was trying to sleep, 10pm-midnight. The TV is right in the next room. I was too agitated and not in a state to go out of my room and reasonably ask her to turn it down. So I stayed in bed and got more and more angry, and this morning I have several bruises on my arm where I was hitting myself last night out of anger, frustration - and self punishment for feeling such.
I got up early, had my shower, then went back to bed for an hour and a half. Although I didn't really sleep, I did get some rest, and I feel calmer.
I will have to talk with my flatmate later, as I can't carry on like this. I've not slept properly for weeks [months] and it's hard enough for me to get to sleep as it is, without noise making it worse. I could even hear it through my ear plugs.
When I'm stressed and anxious, sitting at the clinic waiting to see my GP or psychologist, kids screaming, crying, people making the rest of the seats move (they are joined in a row of 6), annoy me no end and make me what to tell them to stop and shut the **** up, so I know how you feel with noise. Yeah, I'd like to know how to cope with such things too. I hope you get your problems sorted out soon Katie.
A child was kicking the wall in front of him on the bus today. I had to move seats, I couldn't take it vibrating on my foot.
I spoke with my flatmate. So hopefully that will be better.
Now the children next door are yelling around. Arggghhh. I know I'm very pms'y [every sound like hits me in the womb] and that also I go into a 'mind twilight world' thing when I struggle to sleep. This makes me feel like I'm persecuted by everyone. The recent riots didn't help my persecutory feelings, as it was a kind of flashback to the bullying, albeit an indirect one, if that makes sense?
I think there are two stages to this. The first, as Geranium said, is about accepting that a level of noise is normal and natural and working on not becoming offensive about it - as that just heightens any stress levels that are already there.
The second, is to accept that you may be feeling sensitive to these noises. That they can not help you, and given time, they can change to being more confortable and acceptable to you.
I find gradual amounts easier to handle, so allow yourself moments of calm where you can pause and put on the headphones or do some breathing exercises when it gets too much. Do go back to the noise though, as complete avoidance (in my experience) just makes it even harder to go back to it later.
*safe hugs*
Roiben x
If the Human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we wouldn't.
Thanks Roiben.
I'm working on this.. slowly. It varies with my level of sense of internal threat and powerlessness. I'm doing a lot of reflection on personal freedom etc.
I have yet to find something that actually calms the skewy brain chemistry hormonal tangle that I get about a week to a few days before my period starts.
Hmm, maybe something to gently introduce to your internal monologue, just to get the idea going. Even if it does not seem to have a huge effect right now, I know that over time it can help.
I do this for myself when overwhelmed by noises and crowds.
If the Human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we wouldn't.
