I occasionally, when not feeling particularly good, have problems with Signs and 'unusual' thoughts. I had a psychologist assessment 10 days ago, and I have another next Monday. She told me I sounded paranoid and some of my thoughts are not rational. Now see....I know logically that they are not what most people deem to 'make sense' and usually I rationalise and see them as just that....silly thoughts/feelings that my head has conjured up for whatever reason. The psychologist told me it is probably a result of my mood and very high anxiety levels. I'm not sure. I guess what I am asking is if anyone else has experienced the same as a result of anxiety or depression?
How do you deal with the thoughts? Some of them are similar, about evil, demons, possessing me and running through my blood...it gets confusing. Maybe I just have the key to truth...to make connections, that is where the Signs come in. I know that that is not true though....everything you learn from being a young kid tells you things like that are just your imagination. It invades dreams though.....at the moment I am scared to sleep because when I do I get nightmares, I'm scared of the evil demons, puppets, evil people coming through my loft and people trying to get in. I don't know why they would. It is silly I know....I don't know how to keep that thought, logic in my head and rationalise it though.
My head feels totally battered, exhausted all the time. Dreams, nightmares, thoughts etc all blend in with reality and I just need to know what is 'right' and real. I need things to be certain.
Has anyone else experienced this? How do I manage it? How do I know what is real and right? I used to have these sort of connections and thoughts when I was feeling especially bad, starting in Jan 2009, each time they have come back though then they get more intense and last longer. How do I make it stop? Should I even make it stop?
Is this normal with Depression and anxiety or are they lying to me?
Some people have suggested that my experiences have sometimes (especially when they happen more acutely) been down to very high anxiety levels. I'm not sure why it happens and still don't have enough of a 'reality base' these days to be able to say if it's possible that the signs are real or not, but most of what I have been taught suggests that the brain believes/experiences things because it needs to, and, though I way overuse this word, it can be the mind's way of processing very difficult thoughts and feelings. Maybe if you start working with the psychologist, at some point you might together try and think about what function the experiences serve, and why you choose to believe them at times. I've never been able to figure out/find real evidence that my experiences weren't real in a literal sense, but it did help me to think 'how does believing it help me?' and eventually reached a time when I realised that they didn't, and so it became easier to not take too much notice of them when they came.
I have experianced something similar, just not to that extent. I tend to precieve things as being worse then they are, as people trying to hurt me emotional or being rude/mean/ignoring me etc when they are not. I overreact to situations that should not be stressful, like seeing my boyfriend (before we broke up), spending the night at people houses. (Can you tell I have a lot of social anxiety lol)
I try to step back and look at things logically. I like to make lists, if I'm overwhelmed with work/school I make a list by what is most important/due first. I find writing can help me see more clearly. A second opinion from another person is always helpful. I have one friend I go to when I think I cam over reacting and I ask her how she would feel in my situation.
I don't have any advice on relieving the anxeity other then a distraction. Although the break away from the trigger can do wonders for me.
You will find that having is not so pleasing a thing as wanting. It is not logical, but is often true-Spock
I'd rather have a goddam horse. A horse is at least human, for God's sake. ~J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye
I have depression with psychosis. The psychosis side includes beliefs or experiences that others would not deem rational, and I have been told this is due to my depression/anxiety. It is worse when I am over-tired, over-anxious or when my depression becomes exasperated.
Anxiety can certainly make symptoms such as psychosis and paranoia worse and more intense.
Edit: Meant to add, ensuring I get sleep and rest and talking to someone about things tends to help me. I also deal with it through the medication I take.
Sorry that was rambly....
Roiben x
Last edited by roiben : 18-08-2011 at 02:04 PM.
Reason: Added a bit
If the Human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we wouldn't.
I have intrusive thoughts as well, especially during periods of high stress and/or anxiety. Usually it's paranoid fears of people judging me silently and secretly, or fears that everyone thinks I am insane. I've been learning how to manage these "weird thoughts" better, but it's always a bit of a struggle. Good sleep and exercise REALLY help. Have you tried yoga?
Also, sometimes when I get stoned, I'll have craaaaazy thoughts, things I can't even describe accurately right now (literally start seeing things and my inner monologue starts having a fake conversation with another inner monologue... I'm completely aware that it's me the whole time but it's so weird. But that's kind of the point, I guess. :)
