Adult - life after abuse..?

[freakstatic]

hey there, Im not sure what to say really, I was abused up until I was about 8yrs old, Im now 20 . Ive been in and out of counselling for the past 7 years though I dont feel like Ive acheived a whole lot. I just dont know what I need to do to move on from that time. I still feel like hes in control of my life. I want to kinda.. get over this and get on with my life but I feel stuck. sorry, I dont know if that makes sense.

RJ

[Chrissyann]

Hi RJ
What you've said makes perfect sense. I for one know that feeling of being stuck and I'm sure plenty of others do too. As for getting over what happened, I don't think it's possible. But as I've said to others, you CAN learn to live with it, and learn to not let it control you the way it is at the moment. It will be hard, but you're certainly doing the right thing by getting counselling to help you come to terms with it. And even though you say you don't feel like you've achieved a lot, I bet you have somewhere along the line. Even if it's just to be able to talk about it or how it makes you feel. Even writing this post asking for help is an achievement and you should be pleased with yourself :)

As for moving on after what happened, have you got a good support network around you? Because that often helps. The more people you can talk to about it, the less of a burden it becomes for you.Telling people will make you feel stronger, and for every little bit of strength you gain, your abuser will lose.

You need to keep telling yourself that you CAN learn to live with this, and that you're not going to let your abuser win. You're the good one in all of this and don't deserve to be feeling the way you are. You are entitled to a life, and you WILL have one. You just need to keep plodding along. You'll get there hun, but it's not an overnight process unfortunately.

Take care and feel free to PM me
*hugs*
Chrissy
xxx

[Amaryllis]

If I knew, I'd tell you.

[bloodletting]

*hugs* there is no time line for getting over abuse, but you can get the tools you need to deal with it. keep up with the counselling, you don't need to do this alone. it's a long and sometimes painful road, but try to find someone who you feel you can really open up to and be honest with. none of what happened was your fault and it's unfair that it should rule your life like it is. but your abuser hasn't won, your still here and fighting.
it will get better hun, don't push yourself. we all know how it feels to be stuck, and it unfortunately will always be a part of your life, but you can learn to deal and be happy, it won't always rule everyday.
don't give up. you've come so far and although you may not see it now i'm sure you've already come a long way into healing.
stay safe sweetie xoxoxoxox